Welcome Guest Blogger Cindy Kirk!
Weddings can make a girl a little crazy…
Which is probably why Marcee Robbens found herself in the arms of a sexy stranger before the bouquet was even tossed at her best friend’s wedding.
Sam’s not the kind of guy who would have a super-hot hook-up with a woman he barely knows. But something about Marcee had him mesmerized—enough for this usually sensible single dad to abandon his responsibilities for one unforgettable night.
But Sam never thought his one night stand would turn up as his new next-door neighbor. Or that once he glimpsed the soft side of this captivating woman, he’d find himself falling in love….
First Encounters of the Close Kind
In One Night Stand Sam and Marcee see each other at a wedding and are instantly drawn to have a first encounter of the close kind.
I was going through some of my files the other day and found the 2006 Harlequin Romance Report. It had a lot of great information in it. One of the things it mentioned was that whether it’s on a first date, first encounter or a first introduction, most of us admit that nerves can have a powerful effect on our behavior. 40% confess that nerves have contributed to more than a few first-encounter blunders.
Here are some interesting highlights:
* 34% of men fidget, play with their keys, cross and uncross their legs when nervous during a first encounter
* 25% of women laugh too much
* 28% of women avoid eye contact when nervous
* Nearly 20% of men stutter and can’t put sentences together when nervous
Every first encounter offers the possibility for mistakes or missed opportunities. Sometimes we commit blunders that we later regret:
* 37% have judge a person by their appearances
* 41% of singles have turned someone down and later regretted it
* 11.8% have made out with someone without knowing their name
Some more statistics that you might find interesting:
*27% of marrieds think you need to date two to four people before you meet “the one.”
*11.7% of the total surveyed believe you need to date one person to find the one
*11.4% think you need to date more than twenty to find the one
*47% believe you need to date between two to ten people before you find the one.
Do you think these stats are accurate? I know when I was dating I turned someone down and later regretted it. I also dated between two to ten people before I found my husband.
What about you?
If you give me your opinion and are registered at Cigars, I will put your name in a hat and draw for a copy of When She Was Bad the book where we first meet Marcee.
Hey Cindy!
Welcome, and glad to see you here. :) I know you work during the day, but we'll look forward to chatting with you when you can pop in. :)
I think I would land on the higher side of 2-10 before marrying -- I wish I had dated more, made out with more people I didn't know, etc LOL before I'd gotten married the first time, that's for sure. I had only dated a few guys in high school and leapt into marriage way to fast -- I say, date a lot, and then when you find "the one", live with them until you are very, very sure. I made very, very sure the second time, and had a few nice flings beforehand, didn't rush in. ;)
;)
I do think judging a person by looks and/or age or any other superficial quality is a mistake, at least until you get to know someone -- it's funny how someone you don't think you're physically attracted to can become very sexy by their personality or how they act, and visa versa. On the other hand, if there's no physical spark, then that's a killer, too, you can't force it.
Fun blog -- I always like those Harlequin reports and the stats. ;)
Sam
Hi Cindy, I fall into the
Hi Cindy,
I fall into the 2-10 category, too. I also turned someone down I later regreted. He was a sweet cowboy-type guy, and at the time I thought I was just a little too left of center for him. I thought I would drive him crazy and he would bore me. Now I can see that he probably would have been the steadying influence I needed, and that he wasn't boring at all.
So, Bob, if you're out there....I have regreted saying no.
:) Jeannie
Hmm...I'm going with the
Hmm...I'm going with the 2-10 rule.
I dated my husband in high-school and he was my first for a lot of things, but back then I never thought he was the one. He was too much of a bad boy and definitely not cut out for long-term commitments (at least, that's what I believed). I had a couple of fun flings in college, then met a guy whom I thought was definitely the one. After four years together, he absolutely broke my heart, but I know now it was the best thing that could have ever happened.
When I got an unexpected call from my former high-school sweetheart, I still didn't think it would go anywhere, because from what I'd heard, he was still a trouble-maker. After our first date, we stood in the parking lot of this club and I knew he wanted to kiss me, but he was so nervous!! So I kissed him and the rest, as they say, is history. We live in the same small town where we both grew up and people who knew him then can't believe he's that same kid who was always in trouble. My dad, who was a cop in town, was pretty horrified when we started dating (both in high school and later) but he's the first one to say what a "fine" man he is. But back then, I'd have never, ever believed I'd end up married to him, or that he would turn out to be such a good husband and dad!
What a neat story, Karen.
What a neat story, Karen. One of my friends was a wild, wild kid in high school, who married the goody two shoes prom queen. He is now the most devoted husband and father--it's inspirational to watch the two of them together after over 20 years.
Jeannie, what a riot; I was
Jeannie, what a riot; I was also the prom queen! And according to my sister (the wild one), I was definitely a goody two-shoes. Actually, I was just really afraid of my father and what he might do if he found out I did anything bad...and he always found out. When I was dating my husband, I was always grounded, LOL.
Karen Foley is the winner!
Thanks for all the great comments! I've really enjoyed "talking" with all of you.
Karen, you're my winner. So, email me from my website www.cindykirk.com and I'll send you a copy of When She Was Bad!
Sad, simply sad...
I'm married to a man I met at eighteen, so I land in the "dated less than 2 before finding the one" category. I'm also less likely to judge someone based on appearance but will definitely judge based on how a man carries himself. I like confidence more than physical appearance (within reason, but I am totally in fantasy-looking-land, not on an active search so I get to make the rules without any rhyme or reason).
Margaret
Good topic!
I fall in the date more than 20 before you find the right one! In fact, I was engaged 10 times before I got married...the first time! LOL
And I'm guilty of not looking people in the eye when they talk but I have an excuse. I've worked with and known a lot of deaf people who lip read. And I have a tendency to watch people's mouths when they speak also. Knowing deaf people who speak, it helps to clarify what they're saying.
Thanks for making me think!
ani
Hi Cindy
Hmm...I would agree that you need to date lots of people. But I didn't follow my own rule. I did have all intentions to do so, though.
I wasn't allowed to really date anyone in high school. I'd have to sneak a kiss here and there, but once they called the house or invited me out, the inquisition began and for most guys, I wasn't worth it LOL.
My Prom date was the son of a family friend. One minute in his nerd world was not happening for me.
By the time I got to college, I had my fantasy image in place (only in my mind). I was going to date, be a career woman, and not commit. At the first college party, I met my honey. Still didn't plan to be tied down. But we hit it off and without suffering any break ups, we dated for seven years. We just celebrated our 18th year of marriage.
So I guess I'm a classic romantic sucker at heart.
3 cheers for Happy Endings.
Michelle
Hi
Hi Cindy,
-37% have judge a person by their appearances-This sounds pretty accurate. I wouldn't be surprised if the number were even higher. I know there are some people who won't admit that they judge people by their looks.
I also fall in the 2-10
I also fall in the 2-10 category. think it should have been more, as we were divorced after 5 years.
Interesting Posts
I'm enjoying reading your posts. Keep 'em coming. :)
I agree that dating more men has some distinct advantages. However, once you find Mr. Right it seems pointless to continue dating.
I also think more than 37% of men and women judge by appearance. Which is understandable to some extent. Part of the attraction we feel for someone is physical. I'm sure we've all known/dated men who we liked as friends, but there was zero chemistry. And, for me, if it wasn't there, it wasn't there. How can you kiss someone, much less even think of being intimate with someone, who you're not attracted to??
Have any of you dated someone who you thought of as just a friend only to find a romance developing?
The one who got away
was one I wasn't attracted to at first! He was very tall, skeletal thin, with brillo pad hair and ugly black glasses. The first time I saw him, I hid (he was with a friend of mine). He was, honestly, that ugly.
But, eventually, I met him and he had the purest soul ever, despite being a lawyer. LOL
The more time we spent together as friends, the deeper and deeper my feelings for him. He told me he loved me many times before I finally realized I loved him, too.
Anyway, we got engaged (the first of those 10) but he died before we married. The next 9 were just trying to find someone like him.
My second (and current) husband and I were (and still are) friends first. I think that's an important aspect in a relationship because if the love doesn't appear to be there some days at least the friendship can keep you together.
But if you're not friends, you've got nothing to fall back on.
ani
Friends and Lovers
Ani,
What a sweet story....but such an unhappy ending. I'm so sorry that your first fiance died. But I'm happy you've now found the happiness you deserve.
I agree, if you don't have friendship AND respect it's hard for a marriage to make it.
Thanks for sharing!
Hmm...
Interesting stats, Cindy! Another vote for the two-to-ten slot... and currently SO thankful not to be worrying about first-date nerves! Eeek! Occasionally I think, boy, I'm feeling old, am I missing out on fun? And most of the time I'm just incredibly happy to be able to enjoy my family and not be worrying about whether or not I'm making a good first impression (not so great at that, whether for job interviews or first dates!) And though I love reading about hot hook-ups with near strangers, I can't imagine doing so in reality--SO many things to go wrong ;) Marcee sounds like a fun character!
One NIght Stand
Am reading it now and loving it. Thanks for a good story. Am going to go with 47% group.
Interesting statistics
It's been a long time since I was dating but I don't think that there are any rules you can follow you just have to go with how you feel in the relationship. I have seen marriages that I thought were solid fail and marriages I thought would never last endure for many years.