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And The Switch Goes on... Welcome Jaci Burton!
Submitted by jaciburton on Thu, 2008-02-14 13:20.
First, I want to thank all the ladies here at Exploding Cigars for letting the Writeminded gals switch blogs with them. What fun!
With this being Valentine’s week, there will be those who embrace the romance, and those who gag and go running in the opposite direction. I’m a little bit of both, actually. I’m a hopeless romantic. I love cheesy romantic movies, all the chick flicks, and am a firm believer in the happily ever after. But the whole commercialism of Valentine’s Day, going out to dinner, buying the cards, hearts and flowers thing? Yeah, it leaves me kind of cold.
My birthday is four days after Valentine’s Day. So hubby and I and whatever family we can wrangle will go out to dinner and celebrate then. I really see no reason for my husband and I to spend a small fortune going out to eat an expensive dinner four days before my birthday as a way to say “I love you”. I don’t need or want him to bring home flowers for Valentine’s Day, or chocolate. We say we love each other every day. We show our love every day. I don’t need a dozen roses, chocolate (oh my God my butt so doesn’t need more chocolate—not after the holidays!) or anything else tied into Valentine’s Day to know my husband loves me. We’ll do the card thing, because it’s always fun to pick those out, then we’ll snuggle on the couch together, maybe order a pizza, and watch a movie. Knowing the two of us, said movie is much more likely to be action adventure than romance. Or maybe action and romance, the best kind for both of us.
I’ve never been the kind of person who thought Valentine’s Day was a big deal. It seems to me more of a way for the card companies, the flower people and the chocolate people, as well as restaurants, to make a lot of money. And yet I’m a romantic. How odd, huh?
My husband buys me roses for no reason whatsoever throughout the year. To me, that makes him incredibly romantic. I’d rather have that than the ones bought out of obligation because it’s ‘that day’. He’s one hell of a hero to me, but that’s more his character than anything having to do with a designated holiday. And character in a man is how I determine how to write the heroes in my books.
So tell me, what is ‘romantic’ to you?
I’ll draw a winner from all the posters here for winner’s choice of any one of my books from my backlist. To enter, be sure to register as a user at Cigars. Winner will be posted tonight in the comments.
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just because
I hubby is not fond of the holiday either, he says he would rather give me or the kids a gift just because, not for a specific holiday. He says the same thing about Christmas. So he buys us random gifts throughout the year and on Valentine's Day we put the kids to bed early and have a nice meal to ourselves and hang out.
Kris, I love those 'just
Kris, I love those 'just because' gifts because they come from the heart, not because they're 'supposed to'
Jaci, I forgot to mention
Jaci, I forgot to mention that my birthday is the 9th of Feb so its close to the 14th as well like yours. So even though we don't celebrate the special 14th but do it each week as our date, the same goes for my birthday, which a 'Happy Birthday' is more than enough to receive...except sometimes he even forgets that.
As long as he doesn't forget our Tuesdays, he's safe, LOL
I completely agree, Jaci!
The whole commercial part of Valentine's really turns me off, and although I like the sentiment sometimes (celebrating love, being sure to let people special to me know that I care about them), the push to do it on this one day ("with flowers!" "with this plush bear!" "with horribly written overwrought cards!" "with overpriced food!") makes me want to go my own way. So while I find many of the gestures romantic, I don't if they're simply in response to this holiday. And you have a gem of a husband! Mine's similar--he'll do really considerate things throughout the year that I appreciate far more than a bouquet one day out of the year. :)
Finally, welcome to Cigars! I've really been enjoying the switch this week!! Thanks to you and your blog-mates for your great posts!
Thanks for the welcome,
Thanks for the welcome, Fedora! The blog switch has been fun and I've loved reading everyone's blogs this week!
I love buying cards on Valentine's Day. They're fun to pick out and give to friends and family. Other than that I can do without the entire holiday. There are other ways to be romantic throughout the year. :-)
I agree
Mike and I have never really done anything for Valentine's by agreement -- we do things all year long, much like you describe -- though this year we decided to celebrate, in a few little ways, and it ended up being fun.
I made a ton of pretty frosted hearts yesterday, and Mike I exchanged small gifts for the first time since we've been together (14 years! LOL). I got him this neat little brain teaser puzzle in the shape of a heart that says "Amour" and he got me romance novel magnetic poetry for the fridge! LOL Love it.
I have to admit, it was fun. But romantic to me is in small moments... waking up in the morning finding we are holding hands from sometime in the night, or a hug from behind while I'm doing something, or an email or phone call when he's out of town. Lots of little things.
Sam
Awwww....
Awww...you all are making me wish I could find my special someone...LOL.
Awww Sam, the gifts you and
Awww Sam, the gifts you and Mike exchanged sound really sweet. I love the sound of the romance novel magnet poetry for the fridge. Bet you could get really creative with that! ;-)
Also not a fan....
My husband and I have been together a long time and Valentine's Day has taken several iterations during our relationship. When we were younger I loved all the "romance". After almost 15 years of marriage...well...I didn't even bother to try and get a babysitter for this weekend, LOL.
He did call this morning to tell me he's free for lunch, so I think we're going to get burgers at our favorite fast food place. But he's often most romantic when he's doing the things Sam mentioned, like an email that says nothing but "I love you", or taking our son out so I can get some writing time (nothing says "I love you" like tangible proof of supporting someone's dreams).
That said, he can really nail Valentine's day when he wants to. A couple of years ago we were still living in NYC. I wanted a pair of sterling silver hoops so he took me to Tiffany and Co on 5th Ave to buy me a pair. They were sold out of the earrings I liked. So we walked across the street to Mikimoto and bought strand of pearls, something I'd dreamed about for ages but never asked for. Blew me away.
Omg! You went to
Omg! You went to Tiffany's?!!!! I'm so jealous. My husband bought me a Tiffany necklace a few years ago. I never take it off. It's my favorite piece of jewelry ever! I'd probably faint if I ever walked in that store. And the pearls from Mikimoto sound beautiful, booklover. What a thoughtful husband you have. :-)
Romantic
For me, it is the things my husband does every day that is romantic. He will leave me a note or a picture he has drawn in my purse or he will clean for me when I am swamped or ill. He will surprise with flowers just because he was thinking of me.
He leaves you notes and
He leaves you notes and draws pictures? Now see, I think that's incredibly romantic, Crystal! It's little things like that that just scream romance to me.
romance, don't have it
I don't think I'm a very romantic person. My husband likes to cuddle and I like my personal space. I think the most romantic thing is spending time together. It is the one thing in life that we fight and don't seem to have to much of. It can also be gone in a minute. So I like to just be with him no matter what we are doing.
I think one of the most
I think one of the most important aspects of a relationship is to just be together. Too many couples don't spend time together, and I see them drift apart. I think if you enjoy being with each other and sharing interests, that's romantic. :-)
Wholeheartedly agree on the little things...
...my husband does. Of course, he usually does something sweet for Valentine's Day (this year was a mother's ring), but I would prefer he didn't go through so much trouble or spend so much money. Not that I'm ungrateful, of course, but the little, unexpected things do indeed mean so much more. Like last week, I was out of Diet Coke (a tragedy, let me tell you!) and I couldn't get out to replenish because I had a houseful of other people's kids. Hubby must have noticed before he left in the morning, because he came home for lunch with cans of DC from the vending machine at his work. I was so grateful and in such awe that he'd noticed and thought of me, that I cried. As silly as that is, THAT'S something I'm going to remember for a lot longer than any bouquet of flowers. :)
Valentine's Day
I'm single so I don't have a Valentine this year. That's not a bad thing, necessarily. I feel Valentine's Day should be celebrated all year long, not just one day. You have to work at the romance to keep your relationship fresh. Love is going out to the store at 1AM because I crave something. Love is taking out the trash. Love is an unexpected card, phone call, email, or small gift (flowers, a book I'd like, etc.). I think we ladies also need to work at the romance too. For those of you that celebrate this day, have a wonderful day with your sweetie!
I agree with you Laura. I
I agree with you Laura. I too am single so no Valentines Day. And I agree too with the little things all year long being more important. For those who do celebrate Valentines Day -- have a happy one.
Now see, I think those
Now see, I think those little things are so important too, Sassa. My husband will do the same things, Sassa, like pick up soda when he knows I'm out. I so appreciate those little things more than gifts because it means he thought about me and what I need. Don't you love that? :-)
I like Valentine's Day...all
I like Valentine's Day...all the smaltz is great, but I won't die without it...I just like the romance of it all...lots of proposals, lots of weddings and anniversaries... I teach middle schoolers and I really get a kick out of watching those first painful attempts to say "Be Mine". It's gut wrenching sometimes, but makes me appreciate being in a warm, loving, supportive marriage for 11 years...
This morning at 2:14, I woke. No crying children, no screaming bladder, nothing. But the 2:14 made me chuckle...so I woke the DH and we made love...great surprise!
Ooooh! What an awesome
Ooooh! What an awesome Valentine's Day gift for you, Ronda! Wooo hooo! ;-)
Not Romantic
I'm like some of you. I'm not much of a Valentine's Day person either. Since I haven't dated, I haven't had the opportunity to share my Valentine's Day.
So here is my thought of what 'romantic' means to me...I think that when you and that special person visit places or do things together is more romantic rather than getting candies, card and flowers. :) It doesn't have to be expensive too like watching a movie and eating dinner.
Dh is not very romantic and
Dh is not very romantic and I accept it. What good is it to bully him until he might buy me something. He does 'off the cuff' things once in awhile like bring home flowers from the grocery store when I was sick or bring home plain Potato Chips with a tub of Dill Pickle dip b/c he knows I love that. That is romance.
I agree. I love just
I agree. I love just watching tv or even sitting at the table reading together with my husband. Just 'being' together is important to me
I mentioned that about our
I mentioned that about our Tuesdays with just cuddling up on the couch and having a lazy day together, I love them.
Wanted to mention too that I love Mac from RIDING WILD. I can't wait til more of the guys from the motorcycles have their own stories!
Valentine’s Day
Here in Finland Valentine’s Day is called “Friend’s Day” for some reason, so it has a bit different meaning around here. And compared to you it’s not all that old tradition in Finland.
Oh that's interesting,
Oh that's interesting, Minna. But do you exchange candy and cards with friends or are the traditions completely different?
Happy Single's Awareness Day!!
I've never been a big fan of V-day, even when I've been in relationships. I have always chosen to celebrate Single's Awareness Day instead, and I try to do something nice for or with my single friends. DH loves Valentine's Day...not for the commercial stuff, but because he is a hopeless romantic. He does little romantic things all the time, but he likes to be extra mushy on V-day. He doesn't do the chocolate-flowers, etc, but he is extra attentive and cuddly today. It used to drive me nuts, but I've come to realize it means something to him to be able to do something nice for me on this day, so I've softened considerably over the years.
And to answer the question, 'romantic' to me is something that he does just for me. LOL - he recently got a nice bonus for work and is spending a good portion of it to get the bumpers and winch I want for my Jeep. Not every woman's dream, obviously, but I am so excited!! I've been eyeing these for a long time - and he pays enough attention to know it. :-)
Money Maker
I think the day has become too commercialized and puts too much pressure on men and women. Men feel like they have to spend a fortune to show us they love us...women feel left out if they don't have a significant other. When I was a single mom, I would go out with a group of friends to celebrate our strengths and friendship.
My hubby is a romantic, but we also try to make an effort to do little things year round. He's great about doing dishes (I HATE DISHES) or take the boys outside to play when I'm stressed. I send him and his co-workers goody packages all year long - he works out of the country 4-5 months at a time. He's great about checking the Suburban for maintenance, washing it or filling it with gas. The man even grew a goatee because I think Tim McGraw is sexy! I know he would love it if I looked like Faith Hill...but he loves my fluffy figure and gets mad at me if I make jokes about my weight.
Dishes....blech!
Chelle, I am SO there with you about dishes. There are very few things I despise doing. Washing dishes is one of them!! Luckily, my DH doesn't mind them at all. In fact, he is perfectly happy to clean up after meals. Sort of his way of saying thank you for me making dinner. It is a great arrangement!!
Mmm.....Tim McGraw. I saw him in concert way back when at the WI state fair when he was the *opening* act for Clint Black. He's even yummier up close. And he's aged well, he he!
There's a rule in my
There's a rule in my house...whoever cooks, the other does the dishes. And since I do most of the cooking.....
heh. ;-)
Hey Cathy, what's romantic
Hey Cathy, what's romantic to one isn't to another. I think toys for my car are pretty romantic too! ;-)
Hey Jaci, it totally makes
Hey Jaci, it totally makes sense you're a romantic. With inspiration from within and around you every day, how could you not be writing such romantic stories? Music is great for setting a mood. I have mixed tapes my husband made me when we started dating, and even today when I hear any of those songs, I (extra more) think of him wherever/whenever I am. Happy (regular) day to everyone. It is easier to buy sweets as they're to be found everywhere, and I would buy myself some if I weren't staying in today. I'll just buy them tomorrow when they're all on sale (hee hee).
Thank you Allison! And yes,
Thank you Allison! And yes, this week is great for us chocolate lovers isn't it? Heh.
Happy Early Birthday! I
Happy Early Birthday!
I agree with you...I am not big on Valentine's Day. To me romantic is like what you describe...the little every day things or unexpected...little gifts just because, hugs when you need them, unexpected "I Love Yous," showing you care without being asked...
Your hubby sounds like a definite keeper...know where I can find one? LOL
Thank you Jennifer! And
Thank you Jennifer!
And yes, I love the unexpected. Always gives me the warm fuzzies. My hubby is a true keeper!
Romantic to me is a guy who
Romantic to me is a guy who hates to dance because he feels massively self conscious about shaking his booty in public, but dances with you anyway because you love to dance. This guy would be my husband....:)
Now see, my husband can't
Now see, my husband can't dance for anything, but he isn't at all self conscious about getting out on the dance floor for any song and dancing with me. See why I love him so much? ;-)
Hi Jaci, I love your
Hi Jaci,
I love your books
Valentines really isn't that big of a deal
I have to admit I do like when he sends flowers but to be honest when I'm down and I want flowers I get them for myself.
Thank you so much Beth! It's
Thank you so much Beth!
It's not a big deal for me either. Just another day.
But I never buy myself flowers. I figure that's my husband's job. Though I prefer he buy them when he wants to, never during the 'required' times. Means so much more that way. I'm odd that way. *g*
Romantic
I think I like the idea of a Finnish Friends Day *g*
I guess what's romantic to me is a guy doing something special unexpectedly without prompting b/c its Feb. 14th or some other supposedly special day. :) Flowers or just going out somewhere.
Lissy I completely agree. A
Lissy
I completely agree. A true romantic man has his own brain cell and will think up something romantic without Hallmark or some other required holiday prompting him, don't you think? ;-)
Romantic is everyday life in
Romantic is everyday life in my house. Saying I love you every day, a hug here and there, and a kiss goodnight.
Those are my favorite
Those are my favorite things, Estella! :-D
Romance is in the little
Romance is in the little things, especially in a marriage that's survived three decades. It's turning the heat on in the morning when he wake's up, washing my car, snuggling while we watch a movie together, bringing home a bouquet of my favorite flowers,(just because), snagging me a mocha frapp on his way home from work, and holding hands while we walk after dinner. We don't buy into the hoopla of the day, just enjoy a quiet dinner at home and watch the latest Jason Bourne movie on tv.
Congrats on the three
Congrats on the three decades Cathy!
Sounds like you have a romantic, considerate man!
Valentine's Day
I don't really care much for receiving a gift I'd rather just cuddle up at home while watching a nice romantic movie!
I'm a cuddler and movie
I'm a cuddler and movie watcher too, Tetewa. I'm not much for going out and though I love gifts, I'm more practical. Give me romance!
The DH and I have never been
The DH and I have never been big Valentines celebrators, even though he did proprose to me on that day 20 years ago!!
Romantic to me is when he starts my car for me on a cold morning to defrost the windshield (hmmm.. that was this morning!) or when he chases the sons out of the room so I can rest when I get a migraine. Or when he buys me a box of lemon jasmine tea..because the package is almost empty and he knows I love it.
:)
Awww, you were proposed to
Awww, you were proposed to on Valentine's Day? Now that is romantic, Angie! Sounds like your guy does a lot of very considerate things for you.
see, there are romantic men out there!
Hmm
What's romantic to me? The little gestures at random times. Maybe picking up dinner just because, when he knows I've had a hard day. Or clearing all the ice off my car before I head out (that is some serious love) - random little presents, things like that. Happy Valentine's Day!