LOL -- Mike is the same, but come to think of it, so am I -- those traits could just as easily apply to me -- and what I think it means in the end is that men are people. They have layers and different aspects to their personality that come out in different situations, just like we do, so I guess I'd go with "labels are dumb" -- LOL -- or maybe not. Labels have limited use, we need them to describe things or perform tasks like constructing characters, etc but when applied to real human beings with all of their complexity, usually fail miserably.

Sam

Funny post, Jeannie!

I always thought I'd married an Alpha man until, one day, the scales fell from my eyes and I realized he's totally Beta.

He just hides it in a different way.

ani

Jeannie, I did the opposite; I married a Beta dressed in Alpha clothing! My husband was the classic bad boy all through high school. He was brooding and tough and a definite loner. He never asked for help. He always did whatever he wanted. At least once a week he'd walk down to "the bridge" to fight some challenger, and come into school the next day sporting some bruises, but secure in the knowledge that he'd kicked some major ass. He acted like he was pretty much pissed off at the whole world, and that's the way he preferred it. So imagine my surprise when I got to know him and realized that beneath the rough exterior was an incredibly sensitive soul.

Twenty years later, I've come to the conclusion that although he still occasionally tries to act like an Alpha, he's really a Beta. He's the one who always puts things into perspective for me; he's the peacemaker between me and my parents; he actually likes to discuss feelings; he makes me and the girls laugh every day with his goofy antics and bad jokes. He likes chick flicks. He's good to go shopping with. He makes a great best friend. People are comfortable around him and within five minutes of meeting him, are telling him their life stories. Strange, huh? So I sort of think that men have both characteristics and can go either way.

One of my favorite stories about this was when I was going to the local quilt shop often, and when I was trying to pick out fabric for our bed quilt, Mike came along and helped -- he has a fantastic eye for color and pattern, and he's often more daring than I am. He also likes cooking and reading, etc and the girls there thought he was just so great. Which he is.

But I was down there on my own one day and I was mentioning how I'd had some guy come up on the porch selling these religious items, and it was just a screen door between us and he got very pushy and wouldn't go away -- I called for Mike, who came downstairs (the guy obviously thought I was alone) and Mike got in his face and literally backed him off the porch -- he can be *very* alpha in the right moments, very intimidating, in fact, there have been times when he's more intimidating than he means to be, and I have to tell him to tone it down a little.

But the ladies at the quilt shop laughed at me -- they would NOT believe it. There was no way this nice man who reads books and picks out fabric could also be that macho. I guess they had only known one dimensional men, LOL, but I kind of like all those unexpected layers in one person.

Sam

hehehe! Oh those Alphas! :) I most definitely didn't marry one, which I'm sure is good for both of us. For, you know. The survival of our marriage the world at large.

M

I thought he was Beta too. Cause he's nice, just like you said. But he got this dominant streak a mile wide. And he has this annoying habit of generally being right. He's fast on his feet and has a drive and ambition that'll last him through eternity. I think the classic bits that make my husband an Alpha--he's argued with me that he'd not--are that he puts family first, sometimes to his own detriment, and seems to think his shoulders can not only handle any load, but every load. And, again, he's usually right. Sigh.

Imagine my surprise, though, when our son came out just like him. Now I got two guys looking at me like I'm nuts. One I can yell at. The other I have to make see things my way by making him think HE thought of it.

Too bad those roles alternate on a day to day basis.

Dee

How fun! I think that lots of guys are a mix of both, and sort of change plumage with the circumstances--maybe a little like us women, who aren't always easily categorized either :) And it's good that there are very appealing qualities in both alphas and betas ;)

I'm sorry, I am totally into Dr. Horrible's Singing Blog right now, and they had a bit on there that had me howling, and it related completely to this blog, where they were saying something like "I thought he was cheesy, you know, but then I found out he was really sweet. He has a second layer you couldn't see, you know?" and then Dr. Horrible says "But sometimes there's a third layer, underneath the second, and it's exactly like the first one. . .like pie..."

It was so quick but so perfect, I just couldn't stand it... so an alpha seems like a beta but is really and alpha? Like pie...

LOL

Sam