Tempting Fate (and giving away a book!)
Have you ever had one of those mornings where you think, “Oh, I can go and get the Sunday paper in my nightgown and no one will see me.” And then you lock yourself out of the house? Believe it or not, I haven’t done that, but I have had some forehead smacking moments—all because I thought that deadly phrase, ”No one will see me.” For some reason, they always do.
I had one rather embarrassing professional experience when I thought no one was looking. It may be a little hard to relate to, but I’ll try to set the stage. I once worked in an underground mine. I’m a geologist and was making money between undergrad and grad school. Without going into great detail, suffice it to say that I was in a big rock room at the end of a tunnel with a couple of open cage elevators at one side. This is called the station. I was alone, waiting for my elevator ride to the top, and looking at this big hook hanging from the ceiling by a cable…wondering what it would feel like to do the Mary Martin Peter Pan thing. Maybe I should find out. I’m alone. No one will see me. So I climbed up on a mine car, hooked the hook to my safety belt, gave a good push and, well, flew. It was fun. I flew for quite a while…until I saw the shift boss who has silently rode the elevator up and was now staring at me as I completed yet another neat arc. I was 23. A good time to do things like that. I do wonder what the poor man thought as he watched one of his miners break all kinds of safety rules and fly. Pink slip or no? (No.) Probably didn’t want to record the incident, much less think about it.
Fast forward many years—not that long ago, in fact. I live in Nevada. It’s hot and we do not have air conditioning (that’s fodder for yet another blog). My standard summer outfit is a bikini top and short cutoff jeans. It’s cool (as in temperature) and since I live miles from my nearest neighbor, safe to wear. So, one day I think to myself…I can go get the mail without putting on different clothes…no one will see me. Oh how I tempt fate.
My driveway is a quarter mile long. It hooks to the dusty two-mile long road that goes to the state highway where my mailbox sits. There are a lot of sharp rocks on that road. Sharper than my tires are strong anyway. So, half back to the house, I hear the thumpa, thumpa flat tire noise. I pull over, get out. I happen to be very good at changing tires and I would have changed that one if at that moment the best looking rancher in the valley hadn’t driven up with his big truck and horse trailer. Guys like this do not let ladies in bikinis change their own tires. They change them for them, while the lady in the bikini casually holds her arm over her stomach and makes small talk. Oiy.
In my new book The Brother Returns, my heroine, Claire tends to get into situations, but, she takes them as a matter of course, shrugs them off and moves on. Personally, I’m trying to be more like Claire and shrug things off, because, for some reason, I can’t quit thinking to myself, “If I (insert poor decision here), no one will see me….”
Please tell me about a time that you thought those fate-tempting words, and what the outcome was. I’ll send a copy of The Brother Returns to a randomly drawn registered Cigars member. Good luck!
Oh boy!
Hi, Jeannie! How do you do this, post after post? I'm laughing aloud again (and my kids keep asking, "What's so funny, Mommy? Why are you laughing? Read it to me!")
Hmm... tempting fate...
- mailing packages without tracking--it seems that whenever I do, they go astray and I have no way to finding out where they went... Now if I pay for tracking, usually they go their merry way, so I usually don't tempt fate much this way anymore.
- thinking that there's enough gas left in the tank for just one more errand--that one's usually worked out for me (because I get too scared that I'm going to run out with the kids in the car), but not so much for my DH, who's run out of gas on his commute not once, but twice!
- actually, most of my fate-tempting seems to be just wishful thinking--I don't leave enough time to get places/do things. So before picking up my daughter, I'll think, "hmm... I probably have time to swing by the store and pick up a couple things on the way." Yes, if I could fly, and the items put themselves in my basket and scanned themselves at checkout where I happen to be the only customer in the store! Anyway, I frequently skirt disaster this way :( About half the time, it works out fine--this only encourages me to continue ;)
Fedora
You are excellent at tempting fate, and so far, it looks like you coming out on top as you do so(except for that package thing,lol). You summed it up perfectly with Anyway, I frequently skirt disaster this way :( About half the time, it works out fine--this only encourages me to continue This is the problem. Every now and then we get away with it, so we continue...it's like gambling, lol.
Intermittent Reinforcement
In my past life I was a counselor. In the course of my educational experience, I got to work with rats. Yep. Rats. I named mine Henry. After about three weeks, I could actually bring myself to touch him. Nevertheless, in this psych 100 lab, we were studying different kinds of reinforcement - positive (cheese), negative (shock), constant (cheese every time or shock every time) and intermittent (random). And do you know what? Positive intermittent reinforcement shapes behavior the best every time.
This is why we continue to do crazy things - like Peter Pan-esque gymanstics. Those times when you don't get caught. Which is how I ended up in Wal-Mart wearing my pajama pants with my nightshirt tucked inside a sweatshirt and a hat over my bedhead, makeup smeared and a giant pimple free of concealer. I thought if I kept my head down and went directly to what I needed, I'd be okay. Nope. Ran into a high school friend who had moved across the country and was home for a quick visit. Sweated my butt off while trying to keep my eyes from straying down to that huge pimple on my cheek and hoping my coffee breath wasn't knocking her over. But at least I wasn't wearing my swimsuit.
Course, tempting fate is how I ended up writing books.
-Tasha
Tasha
If you didn't write books, I'd tell you to start--that is too funny! So you're saying that getting away with things positively reinforces us to try again? Whoa--no wonder I keep putting the chair on top of the table to change the light bulb. Nothing has happened. Yet.
Light Bulbs
Yep - that's exactly what I'm saying. Intermittent reinforcement - beloved by toddlers and teens everywhere.
-Tasha
I guess I should use
I guess I should use tracking also since 3 packages never made it to their destinations from April - December 2007. A shame we should have to pay extra money for something that should be a given - packages and letters arriving to their destinations.
Pat L.
Fraidy Cat..
LOL Jeannie!! That lucky rancher... :-)
I tend to be too much of a fraidy cat to do much in the way of "no one will see me". As my hubby says, we have a "low risk factor". LOL! Although, there was one time just after college when I was living in a condominium. There was a laundry room in the building next door and one day when I was virtually out of clothes I decided to just yank on a pair of sweats & t-shirt...no undergarments....as I went to toss clothes in the washers. It was early on Thanksgiving, not many people up. Of course, I left my keys in my place and the door locked. I had to call my friend to come and bring my extra key to let me back in. No one else knew I felt naked...but I sure did! Never again did I do that, and never again did I lock myself out! :-)
Cathy
Too funny--and feeling naked is almost as bad as being naked! Jeannie
Hmmm...
I can't think of anything off the top, but if I have done this, it was probably something to do with food... you know, like George Costanza stealing the eclair out of the garbage can? I haven't done *that*, but I'm sure I probably got caught stuffing my face with something at an inopportune time, stealing someone's french fries, or what not... my brain is mush this morning, so I can't remember anything specific. I also wonder why when I am talking about my life, George Costanza so often comes to mind... this can't be good...
Sam
Sam,
Aw, George--one of the finest characters ever! Peeing in the shower at the gym, hiding the sable hat, pulling a marble rye up to the second floor with a fishing pole--many, many no one will see me moments. Sam...I'm a little concerned...
Yes
Maybe this is why I am repressing them... ;>
Sam
Now those were some tempting
Now those were some tempting fate moments! :) Me, I really don't. . . but reading the other comments, the only things I can think of as of late is taking the recycables out to dump in the can on the side of the house in my pjs. Alas, I dress up a lot with my pjs, pants and tshirts, so it's not much of a big deal, but still, they have rubber duckies and Ernie from Sesame Street on them. LOL So I guess that could be a little embarassing or something. LOL
Lois
Lois,
Just don't lock yourself out and you'll be fine in those Ernie pjs. :)
Your book called The Brother
Your book called The Brother Returns sound wonderful.
Thanks, Emma. I had a great
Thanks, Emma. I had a great time writing the book. It was one that almost wrote itself, so it's my favorite so far.
Sam said I should share...
Confession time...when I student taught, I was a young 21 year old...teaching all seniors in high school...18 year olds...many of whom looked older :-S One day as I was leaving school, a red convertible pulled up behind me at the light. Checking him out in the rearview mirror, I could see the driver, who was wearing sunglasses, was hot!!! And he was checking me out in my side mirror...when he removed his glasses and waved at me, I realized it was one of my students. Thankfully, the light turned green, and I sped away. The look on his face was not one of recognition, but I still blush thinking about how embarrassing that could have become!
I'm sure I have many more tempting fate moments...but one confession a day is my limit!
Ronda,
You know that I laughed out loud when I read this one. And I'm still sensing a cyber-blush.
I am too old to do those
I am too old to do those things--I cover up completely.
Looking forward to reading your book.
Thanks, Estella. :)
Thanks, Estella. :)
Oh, Jeannie, your post was
Oh, Jeannie, your post was priceless!! I laughed so hard...and I'm going to share my story with you, but I'm going to tell you the truth and not the half-truth I told my family!
My last job had me traveling to Baltimore's Inner Harbor area for two weeks every month, and I did this for almost a year. At the time, I was a closet smoker, sneaking a cigarette whenever I could, and determined that nobody discover my bad habit. The hotel we normally stayed at (can't remember the name of it, but it was attached directly to a mall) was hosting a conference, so for one week, we had to move across the street to another hotel and I was so excited that each room had its own balcony!! The first morning, I got up, showered, wrapped my hair in a towel and threw on my oversized T-shirt. Then I remembered I had a balcony and I could actually sneak a cigarette BEFORE leaving the room! Well, it was January and there was a fierce wind whipping off the harbor, but I was a hardy New Englander. In my bare feet, with nothing on but my T-shirt and turban, I stepped onto the balcony and lit up. But the wind kept whipping the curtain through the open sliding door, so I closed it behind me all but an inch. I never heard the bar fall into place, effectively locking me onto the balcony. It was like something out of a horror film. I was absolutely panicked. I shook the door, jiggled it, rattled it practically free from the frame, but it didn't open. I contemplated climbing over to the neighbor's balcony, but I was also on the eleventh floor and didn't want to risk falling. Across the street, construction workers were building a parking garage, and I managed to attract their attention. It took another 10-15 minutes, but finally a hotel manager let himself into my room and unlocked the slider. I was blue with cold, shaking so badly I could barely speak, and all I could think was that I wasn't wearing make-up and my legs looked fat! What a complete dope. Another hot shower and a hot cup of coffee and I finally warmed up, but when the hotel manager asked why I'd gone out onto the balcony in such clothing, I lied and said I'd heard what I thought was a car crash on the street below, and had just wanted to see (this is the version my husband also got). That was eight years ago, and I haven't smoked since.
ROTFL
Oh dear heavens, Karen. I'm dying. That is the best story! And what a way to quit smoking. Thank you for sharing, and I promise I won't breathe a word of it to your family ;)
I think my brain tries to
I think my brain tries to protect me because I can't think of anything good at the moment and I'm sure there have been times...other than the "I'll run down to the grocery store real quick" times and of course that's when you run into everyone you know!
Catslady,
A self-protecting brain is a great thing to have...where can I find one of those? :)
I know I put a post here
I know I put a post here yesterday but its not here. Maybe I am losing my mind. Well I will tell my tail again. I usually dress decent when I go to town, but not at home. You know good jeans and nice shirt and fix my hair. Well on one early Sunday I decide I needed a few things from Walmart. I hopped in my car wareing old sweats and ragged t-shirt and my hair just tied up on my head, thinking know one will see me. Low and behold I ran into about ten people that I knew. I never was so embarrassed in my life. Needless to say I didn't do that again.
LB,
What is it about sweats and WalMart that bring out the people? I've had the same thing happen. Must be some special chemistry thing going on.
Once my sister-in-law set me
Once my sister-in-law set me up on a blind date with a guy who turned out to be really unattractive and geeky. He wanted to go to the movies and I suggested we go to the smaller less popular theatre thinking we wouldn't run into any one. It was just my luck that I ran into two ex-boyfriends who kept looking at me with pitying expressions. I was mortified and couldn't wait to get out of there.
Crsytal,
That is so funny. Two ex boyfriends? What are the odds?
no one will see me...
Many, many moons ago. I was engaged to my DH and we were at his parents house swimming. No one was home. So we are done swimming and I go into one of the bedrooms to change. I take off my suit and then realize, oh darn, my contacts and my clothes are in the bathroom. The bathroom is only one room down. So, well, no one else was home (so I thought) and DH was downstairs. So I streak out (in my birthday suit) one door to enter the bathroom and run into, hmmm? I wasn't sure because I did not have my contacts in! At first I wasn't even sure it was a person and I stood there for a moment so they could get a nice long look at me, Ack! Then I ran into the bathroom and got my clothes on and put my 'eyes' back in. Hid in there for some time and finally came out to find my future BIL and SIL there. Thank heavens at least it turned out to be my SIL standing there (or so I was told and hope was true) and not my BIL. But it still is and was one of my most mortifying moments.
Maureen
Maureen
I have to say, I love the part where you're standing there naked squinting at them (can you tell I'm near sighted, too?) so that they get a good look at you. This is one of the classic they'll never see me moments.
Oops
I wasn't logged on when I added my last post.. I hope I still get entered for the book giveaway since I bared my soul :)
Maureen
and not just your soul! ;>
Sorry, it was there, and I had to take it... ;)
Yes, your post counts, no worries. :)
Sam
Blurry vision
"At first I wasn't even sure it was a person and I stood there for a moment so they could get a nice long look at me, Ack!"
Oh, Maureen, thank you for such a good giggle. Before my Lasik surgery, I was so there with you. I once lay cowering on my bed for a good hour while pregnant and with a full bladder. I had taken out my contacts after work and laid down for a quick nap. When I woke up, I saw this mass in the doorway and the cat was meowing in a very "I am a great hunter" kind of way, so I put two and two together and decided there was a dead mouse in the doorway of my bedroom. Without my glasses - left downstairs, of course -I couldn't even watch TV! When I finally got the courage to jump my eight month pregnant self over the dead mouse so I could finally relieve my bladder, I realized it wasn't a dead mouse at all. The cat was triumphantly announcing to me he'd pulled an empty potato skin out of the garbage!
-Tasha
Tasha
You are a riot!
Tempting Fate
Dh wanted to make a quick trip into the city
one day to buy a car stereo. I hopped in because maybe I could go to the craft store across the street while he was doing his shopping. I went to the store and looked at the Scrapbooking merchandise and low and behold, there stands a girl from school many years ago. My hair was horrible, no make-up and jeans and T on. I said hi to her and quickly explained why I looked as I did b/c I thought I wouldn't see anyone I knew(not knowing she worked there). I also stated that it was a quick trip and I didn't have time to primp. Yikes.
Robyn
I may have to blog on this. What is it about quick trips to stores that make these meetings happen? Next time I wonder what happened to an old friend, I'm going to crawl out of bed, go to the store in my slippers and I'll surely run into her. :)
My son works at the library
My son works at the library which is like 2 1/2 blocks away,its winter I don't want him walking home in the snow, ice, cold, I'm also tired so I had my pj's on because he works at night. So I think I just put sweatpants on under my night gown and slip on shoes, no contacts wear my glasses who is going to see me right? He see the bright red mini van and walk out to the car. Not I had to go in and of course run into neighbors UGH
Beth
I'm starting to think that everyone gets caught when they go out in their pjs! I'm wondering now, has anyone every made it to the store in their grungy clothes and NOT been seen?
Probably not, Jeannie! It
Probably not, Jeannie! It must a rite of passage or something. I was on the other side of this issue recently...shopping at the supermarket, when I saw a friend whip past the end of the aisle. Hadn't seen her in a while, and wanted to ask her about an upcoming get-together, and so headed her off in the next aisle. She wouldn't make eye contact with me, was giving me monosyllable answers, and it finally dawned on me that she was embarrassed! She was wearing typical Saturday morning grunge clothes, and wasn't wearing any make-up, and her eyes were bleary. But the funny thing was, if she'd been her usual bubbly, smiling self, I never would have noticed! It was her behavior that made me take a closer look. So I guess when you're in one of those oh-no moments, just give a big smile and maybe nobody will look past that, LOL!
Excellent point, Karen.
Excellent point, Karen. Distract them with your smile so they won't look any further. I am going to remember this next time I get caught in a grunge moment.
The Winners are....
I had to have two. I used a method involving a deck of cards and a paper bag. So, the winners are Estella and CrystalGB. You can email me at jeanniewrites@gmail.com to give me your mailing information and I'll get the books out to you ASAP.
Congratulations and thanks to everyone who posted. It was a fun week!
Congrats! And thanks, Jeannie!
Congrats, Estella and CrystalGB!
And thanks for a great topic this week, Jeannie! :) Off to go tempt fate some more ;)
Have fun, Fedora!
Have fun, Fedora!
Thank you!
Thank you so much for the great book. I have sent you an email. :)
being naked
and pregnant, i hated wearing clothes, trying to fit my belly in, and we live so far out, excpet for one house that wsa way up on a hill, well i would open the door a crack and throw out dog food inits bowl right next to the door,t hinking, o they cant see me, UP in the house on hill, well sshe knew i had a webtv. she had gotten one and asked me, after i gave birth, to come up and help her set it up. well wouldnt u know it, was inher bedroom, in the only window i could even see from my house, i wander over and looked out it and ACK i could see our door soooooo good, i guess i must look sick or horrified, cause when i turned around and looked at her, she just nodded and then went on talking about the webtv, i could have slide thru the floor, knowing her and her hubby, was able to see my naked feeding a dog, with my belly out 3 feet
T
My internet was down for a while, so I just read this. T...you take the cake. That is without a doubt a top MEM (most embarrassing moment)!