Karen Foley
Lynn Raye Harris
Ellen Hartman
Diana Holquist
Samantha Hunter
Shirley Jump
Dee Tenorio
Jeannie Watt
Welcome Guest Blogger Juliet Burns!
Gratitude: My Favorite Anti-Depressant
For the past 5 years, since I first published, I have started the New Year by making a list of goals, both writing-related and personal. Then at the end of that year, I look back to see which ones I met and which ones I didn’t. This is a good exercise for self-motivation since I don’t have a boss looking over my shoulder. My way of staying proactive in my writing career. And for the most part, I tend to meet all my goals.
But last year, for New Year’s Day, along with my list of goals, I decided to make a list of things I was grateful for. Let’s face it; New Years Eve is always a little depressing once you get to be my age-ahem, forty-mumble mumble... I tend to look back over the past year and, after the shock of how fast it went by wears off, I begin to think of all the things I could have done better, (mothering) should have done more of, (exercising) or flat out didn’t do at all (lose weight). My antidote to this gloomy exercise is gratitude.
I’m a list maker, so, maybe that’s why I find making a list so appealing, as opposed to a journal. Surprisingly, considering I’m a writer, I’ve never been a journal keeper.
This list of 10 things that make me happy was my starting point for my gratitude list. I imagine all the things I want my life to be. I'm grateful and imagine even more positive things coming to me, and--since I'm a believer in "The Secret"--this allows the law of attraction to bring them to me.
1. hugs from my kids (Hugs from anyone!)
2. kisses from my hubby
3. chocolate
4. listening to a great song
5. reading a wonderful romance
6. family vacations
7. being with enthusiastic writers and talking writing
8. shopping for furniture
9. meeting my writing goals for the day
10. Unexpected reprieves or income—free time or money you weren’t expecting to have
Want to join me in making a list? Go crazy with it. Put anything on that list you want! It's your list and nothing is too silly or too commercial or too sappy. Happy New Year, everyone!
*I’ll be giving away a copy of my novella The Spy’s Surrender in Secrets Vol 26 to one lucky commenter today. Don’t forget you must be registered at Cigars to be eligible to win.
»
Welcome Juliet!
What a terrific blog, and really so inspiring. :) I agree, better to look at our lives for the things we're thankful for and think about the things that make us happy. I like the idea that positive visualization can help us attract the energy we want -- I tend to think of it in terms of karma, you know, what you put out is what you pull back, but I think it's all the same general principle. ;)
My shortlist...
Cuddling with my husband; doing anything with my husband, even the dishes
A great cup of coffee (several, if they are on hand)
Having something I expect to be difficult, like a piece of sewing, turn out perfect
Email from friends; spending time with friends
My pets
Physical movement that feels good; an energetic walk, gardening, etc
A clean house
My favorite TV shows
Notes from readers who like my books
Reading a mystery and not figuring out whodunit
Being able to pay extra on the bills, and have some money left over
Credit card points -- and trips to B&N with gift cards gotten from credit card points, LOL
Wow -- that was fun. :) And I can say I am lucky enough to enjoy most of these things relatively often. Need to keep that in mind and appreciate it more.
Sam
I like your list, Sam.
I like your list, Sam. ANYTHING with your husband? Wow, how long have you been married? This year was 20 for us and he was off for over a week during the holidays and I was very ready for him to go back to work by the end. Maybe I've just gotten spoiled to my days of solitude, or maybe we would have done better together if the kids hadn't been home also. :)
LOL Juliet
We'll celebrate 12 years married this year, and 15 together... but we have always worked together more or less, when we commuted we commuted together, worked on the same campus, and now we work home together. I am in the opposite situation, when he goes on a trip, I get wicked separation anxiety. ;) I am okay for a day or two, but more than that, I don't like at all, and he's not much for it, either. Sometimes we work here on the sofa together, but there are other days where he works in the office because he's on the phone, so he goes in there and closes the door, and I might not see him come out all day, so it can be like a regular work day. No kids, though. Dogs. Cats. The one kid is grown and out. We've thought about another, but neither of us has acted on it (adopting, at our age) so I'm thinking we're both kind of spoiled...
Sam
Gratitude
Great post, Juliet, and I agree with a previous comment, so inspiring. I don't have time to make a list right now- well, one thing I am grateful for is a good day-job in this crazy economy - and I must get back to it soon. So there's a start for my list. But what I wanted to note is how important it is to remember to take time to be grateful, to reflect on what is good in our lives. It's so easy to get overwhelmed with the annoyances -big and small - of day to day life. The new year is a great time to make a resolution to focus on the positive. So I'll make a list later today- and get the positive thinking started, too!
Hi Jennifer! And I am
Hi Jennifer! And I am grateful for wonderful friends like you who are always there for me.
Thank you for taking time away from a busy work day. I'm always here for you, girlfriend. Don't work too hard,
big hug coming your way,
Juliet
Gratitude
I am grateful for Time. Glad to be retired and thankful that in this economy, so far I can still afford to stay retired. Grateful for the time to do the things I've always wanted to but never had the time for, and for the time to do the things I've always done, but without the hurry-up, what's-the-next-thing-on-the-list stress. I am grateful for any time I get with my Significant Other, grateful for time with my daughters. For being able to go shopping by myself in the middle of the day, not just for groceries, but to dawdle in every aisle of Walmart, or indulge myself at Coldwater Creek. I am grateful for my friends, without whom the last couple of years would have been much more difficult. Grateful for Jazzercise, which has helped improve my health and maybe saved my life. I am happy when the sun shines, I enjoy sitting on my porch and reading the paper, or a book, or just lying there. It makes me happy to be able to write, when the scene flows, instead of bumping up constantly against my internal editor. Obviously I have a very long list of things to be grateful for. This is soooo so sappy, but I really am grateful for every day.
Linda
Not Sappy
I don't think that's sappy at all , Linda. Like I said, gratitude makes a wonderful anti-depressant with little to no side-effects. Except maybe a sappy smile every once in a while. :)
cool post
everyone always does the resolution list on new years day. i did as well and are sticking to most. i have a wasy to go on treating myself better, and picking better food choices. but i digress.
a list for what im thankful and that makes me happy.
hugs from my four year old son-i love those
holding hands with my hubby of thirteen years.
reading a good book
shopping for good books.
a good caramel mocha at borders, while shopping for books.
(sense a theme hear?)
im thankful that my family is healthy and here, and very supportive of my writing.
I'm happy when my cheesecake comes out of the oven and doesn't crack!
i could go on for a while. but i'll stop there.
happy writing and reading to all
jody lynn allen
Great List
Hi Jody,
I like your list. I miss my kids being four. That's such a great age. Past the terrible twos and before all the teen angst.
And like you, I'm trying to change my bad habits as far as food goes. I know it's got to be a lifestyle change, not just a temorary diet for me to lose weight. Last week I determined not to eat anything after 9 PM and succeeded except for one night. This week it has been no second helpings. So far, so good.
And like you, I LOVE swandering around a book store with my "list" for the month, buying my fave authros and getting a cafe mocha while I shop. I think I could spend all day just wandering around barnes and Noble or Borders. Thanks for coming by to comment!
Hi!
Hi, Juliet!
Thanks for the reminder to be thankful! It's easy to get caught up in the "ack! I've got to do all these things and what did I forget!" It's good to have a chance to reflect on the good stuff, and a lot of times, the reason(s) why we do the rest of it :)
Some happy things I'm thankful for are:
- My family and friends--I love being able to call my sister and other friends at the drop of a hat to chat or vent or gab. (Maybe I'm thankful for phones! ;)
- I'm also thankful for central heating--warm toes!
- My TBR, even though it could easily fall over and cause permanent damage! Who can resist so many fabulous books?
- Related to that, getting books and other fun stuff in the mail--it's like opening presents, any time of the year :)
- Those spontaneous expressions of affection from my family--I can't resist those little hugs my kids occasionally offer!
Congrats meeting so many of your goals! Here's to a fabulous 2009!
Speaking of TBRs...
Hi Fedora!
Mine is toppling over also. One of my "goals" this year is to clean out my TBR and maybe give some to a local Assisted Living community.
And I love the rest of your list also. I still get a thrill when I get somehting in the mail. Yesterday UPS delivered a big box and I got all excited and curious. Turns out it was 8 books for me to read and judge for the Rita awards. 8!!!! Ack.
Um...need to put a grateful spin on this... Help!
Ooh...
You get to read books! AND they care about what you think about them! :) Lucky you! ;)
And yes, great idea about clearing out some of my non-keepers to share with others! I've got to do some of that, too!
I am grateful for family and
I am grateful for family and friends
Cars that are paid for.
Kisses and hugs from my young(2 and 3) grandsons
Great books to read
Being retired
Hi Estella!
Amen to cars that are paid for. We just took our 8 year old van to the repair shop because the checkengine light came on. Nothing wrong withit yet and no major repeairs in all the years we've had it. Considering it has 0ver 104,000 miles on it, not bad. I love my (paid for) Mazda van and hope to drive it for many more years to come
Holy Moly
A plane just landed in the Hudson -- and everyone is okay, as far as I know -- talk about gratitude!
I just remembered -- really good pilots are another thing we can be thankful for!
Sam
Talented pilots, firemen, police, EMTs,
Wow! I dont have the news on. I'll have to go check it out. But you're right, Sam. We should all be thankful for the men and women who put their lives on the line just by going in to work every day.
Gratitude
I'm having a hard time listing everything I'm grateful for, largely because it's one of those things I do on the fly.
Years ago, I went through a really difficult time. Absolutely nothing, NOTHING, seemed to go right. I was doing what I knew was the right thing to do, but it was one of those situations where it was punishment to do so - personally, financially and professionally. It was really hard to stick to what I was doing because inside, I resented the fact that I was not being rewarded, or at the very least not suffering for doing what I should. Not a terribly mature attitude, I guess, but I guess it's somewhat understandable, or at least, human. :)
While I never got to the point where I just wanted to quit altogether, I did get to the point where I just felt I was floundering through a sea of the 'sames' and making no difference at all.
So I started looking for a small thing that was right, and taking a moment *right then* to be glad for whatever it was. Sometimes it was just waking up and seeing that it was my favorite weather outside, having a really good night's sleep or even just a really good grilled cheese sandwich. Yet it helped, overall, because I was able to hold onto hope and eventually, renew my determination to keep putting one figurative foot in front of the other until I came out the other side.
'Taking the moment' has become a habit, and one good one I have.
I still whine and grouse (as Juliet knows!) and like most, there are still things I take for granted more than I should. Still, taking the moment can be a much-needed spark on a bad day, even now. I pay attention. I notice more. And I'm thankful.
I am never good at coming up with lists of my preferences or the like on the spot, so the few things I can think of right now are by no means inclusive of the things I notice and for which I've given thanks. I'm just kind of senile that way. :)
I am grateful for my husband. My most consistent moments of 'thanks' are moments when we're together and I'm aware of simply being happy and complete. Having someone like him in my life is what I always wanted most, and I'm grateful -- and humbled -- that I received as a gift what so many never do.
I am grateful now for our coming baby. As frustrated as I have been (and will no doubt continue to be - I AM a type A, after all, and bed rest is NOT my style!) over some of the physical limitations which I'm experiencing, we've been very fortunate so far, far more so than I ever expected.
I am grateful, when I wake, for another day of good health, to have my mind unclouded and clear, to be free of pain, to have the simple freedom to get up and care for myself. Having had several people in my family with terminal illnesses, it's made me very aware of what priceless gifts all of those really are.
I am grateful that I am so often fortunate in my misfortune. There is always something valuable which I have learned or gained from even the worst experiences, and sometimes, it was something which I could have gained in no other way. Some of the best lessons I learned -- you guessed it -- came from that worst time of my life.
I'm grateful for those who have been inspirational to me, be they family, friends or even, sometimes, enemies, strange as that may sound. A friend's support is invaluable, but sometimes someone you dislike can also give you a much needed competitive kick in the butt (albeit unknowingly).
I guess I had more than I thought. :) Great post, hon!
Hi Elizabeth
My dear friend,
I'm so glad you're staying positive even with this minor setback. I would go crazy on bed rest too. But it will all be worth it when your little girl comes out healthy and sassy like her Mama.
Love you, girl.
J
I am grateful for...
Off the top of my head, I am grateful for:
1. My husband and children
2. My faith
3. My dog
4. My Mom, even though she drives me crazy and my Dad, whom I will always miss
5. My online pen pals
6. My IRL friends (not that the online ones aren’t real, I just don’t get to see them, lol!)
7. Mindless diversions (I’m now a Facebook addict)
8. The fact I am not a teenager (watching all that my girls go through you couldn’t PAY me enough to be a teen again)
9. My ipod
10. Audio Books
11. The YMCA
12. Advil
13. Chocolate
I like your idea of a gratitude list. A few years back when I was good about keeping a journal I got in the habit of recording five things that I was grateful for each and every day. Sometimes it was something as crazy as, I’m grateful I could put myself in time-out because my kids are driving me nuts, but overall it did help my general state of mind. After about six or eight months I lost the journal and never got back on track.
I have my last 40 something birthday coming up – I’m not counting after this year – so perhaps I should expand this list to 49 things and have it done by my day. It may help me get out of the funk I find myself heading toward.
Betty, I love your idea about recording 5 things each day
True, this is sappy, but it's been a rough holiday for us so I'm feeling a bit sappy. Unlike my friend, Juliet, I'm not typically a list maker, but here goes.
1. I am most grateful for all my truly wonderful family and friends and all their love and support. Including but not limited to hubby, kids, grandkids, mom, and everyone else important in my life.
2. A dog who gives me sloppy kisses and unconditional love. Come to think of it, grandkids who give me sloppy kisses and unconditional love.
3. Being gainfully employed in these trying economic times.
4. House and car that are paid for.
5. Talented pilots and the fact that being gainfully employed no longer requires that I fly back and forth to La Guardia like I did all last summer.
6. Selling my first book this year. A dream I thought might never come true.
7. A warm bed at night to rest after handling all the above.
Pam!
I'm SO grateful you aren't flying to NY anymore!
And I'm grateful for my wonderful Critique partner who is more than a CP, she's like a sister.
Love,
J
Say no more Betty
I have teens too! And some days just NOT killing them is a feat worth celebrating. Heading into your 50s should be wonderful. I've heard they're fabulous. At least, I'm going to tell myself that since I'll soon be 47, and that is WAY too close to 50. I just got used to thinking of myself as 40 something. :(
1. My family 2. Friends 3.
1. My family
2. Friends
3. Health for family, friends, and me
4. books
5. blogs and chats, get a chance to meet new authors and books
6. chocolate
7. pizza
Hi Amy
Good list. I know this seems so obvious, but I've been trying to teach my teens, the things that make us most happy in life either cannot be bought, or cost very little. They're not things that take millions of dollars.
Thanks for leaving your list. Happy New Year!
Juliet
Jody Lynn, you WON!
Jody, you won a copy of Juliet's novella! CONGRATS!
Drop her a note at julietburns@gmail.com and she'll send it out to you!
Sam
Hi Juliet
Your post is wonderful!
My list:
1. My family
2. My cats
3. Authors who write the terrific books I get to enjoy
4. White chocolate
5. blogs
6. surprise visits from friends
7. wine :-)
8. popcorn
Great Idea!
I'm thankful for my wonderful family, and the fact I made it through the holidays without murdering any of my in-laws :) I'm thankful for the opportunity to write and raise my son in a loving, family-oriented community. I'm thankful for friends (like you, Juliet :), and for the warm, sunny days we've been having.
I'm sure my list is much longer, but that's a good start!
Thanks for making me stop and think about what I'm grateful for.
Renee
www.reneeknowles.com
I feel that counting my
I feel that counting my blessings is always therapeutic when I’m feeling down. I try to appreciate the small things in life also. Here’s my list.
1.Warm running water.
2. The way the trees bend when the breeze blows.
3. The sound of children’s laughter.
4. A starry night.
5. My freedom.
6. My health.
7. The way the eco-system works.
8. Beautiful colors.
9. Technology
10. Prayer
sports my family heatlh good
sports
my family
heatlh
good food
freinds.
hot cover, count me in
ANY Winner
ANY Winner
Posted above
The winner is posted above, kim... about 6 or so comments up within this thread. ;)
Sam