Changes...and a Giveaway!
The winner of the B&N planner and chocolates is...Ellen! Send your snail mail address to me at karenefoley@comcast.net, and I'll put these goodies in the mail. Thanks to everyone for stopping by and giving me such great tips!
When I was growing up, my parents were always telling me that I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached to my body. As I got older, I got better about keeping track of things, and I prided myself on being a fairly organized person. Lately, though...I don't know what's happening to me! For instance, if Sam hadn't reminded me that today is my day to blog, I'd have had no idea (thanks, Sam!).
I think part of it is that my life seems so very crazy right now, and the slightest change in my regimented, orderly routine throws me right over the edge. I had to go to California for two weeks at the beginning of the month for business. While I was gone, my husband was notified that he'd been selected for a new job and he had to be in Boston at 7:00 a.m. on my first day back from travel. While we're both thrilled about him getting the job, it's created a huge upset in our home. He was always the morning guy who got the kids up and onto the school bus. I always left for work by 5:00 a.m. so that I could be home for the kids in the afternoon. Now I'm staying home in the morning and he's heading out early.
There have also been huge changes in my day job. I have a new boss, and I've lost two other folks to attrition, which means I'm trying to do the work of three people. Meanwhile, I'm on deadline for Harlequin and trying to squish as much writing into my evenings and weekends as possible. But I'm just not doing a good job. I've missed doctor appointments and teacher meetings. I'm completely confused about my kids sports and play practices. My household routine is gone. Life is totally crazy and I'm not sure how to get it back on track!
I'd love to hear how you manage to keep your own lives running smoothly and am hoping I can steal some of your ideas. In return, I'm offering up this 2009 planner from Barnes & Noble, and a box of chocolates to one randomly selected responder, but you must be registered to win. I'll pick a winner later tonight and post their name. Thanks for your help...I need to run (I think I'm late for a meeting, LOL!).
I don't know if smooth is the right word for me...
I have to make lists, write notes and post them all over the house. Just because it is written down doesn't mean it gets done but, it does raise the odds.
DH and I decided that our lives were a bit too cluttered so, we're attempting to bring more order to the house. I've bought MANY clear plastic bins and I am attempting to sort stuff. Now, if I can learn how to sell on eBay...
I totally understand about
I totally understand about the clutter...when my daughter decided she wanted to use her closet for something other than a catch-all space, we filled four garbage bags with stuff and put them out for the trash. I can't even tell you what it was...old toys and bits of plastic flotsam, mostly. But it got me on a roll, and I did the same thing for some of our downstairs closets...it felt so good to have open spaces!
I feel the same way, Karen...
Lately it seems like I don't know what direction I'm headed in. I have so many priorities at the moment and it feels like they all deserve equal weight, which is impossible to achieve. The best way I know of to keep life running smoothly is to take care of yourself by sleeping and eating well. Hard to do when you're stressed, but if you add not feeling great into the mix, it makes things seem even more overwhelming.
Hope things settle down for you soon! :)
Cari
http://cariquinn.blogspot.com/
Thanks, Cari. With DH
Thanks, Cari. With DH getting up earlier, I think he's beginning to understand why I want to have an early dinner (so we can have an evening) and why I want to be in bed by 10 p.m. I think by being on a similar schedule, our lives will finally be in sync, which is huge.
I wish I could offer some good ideas
But as you know, one little part-time job threw me into a tizzy, so listening to the things you're dealing with just stymies me. I bow to you for even trying to handle it all.
However, maybe it's not about getting back on track as much as finding a new track?
The best I can say is that it appears that you are moving from the old routine to the new routine, and it will level out eventually. Maybe it's even a good thing to have stuff shaken up now and then?
In the meantime, find some quiet space when you aren't rushing. Take a day or an evening so you can settle in and focus. You'll get through it. And maybe the kids could arrange rides with friends for the sports stuff, etc? car pooling with other friends? When all else fails, I think you need to let some things go and delegate... And remember one thing at a time.
hugs
Sam
Sam, you're right; it's
Sam, you're right; it's about finding a new track, and not feeling as if I have to do it all by myself. I did sit the girls down and tell them that their lives are about to change, and they really (really) need to help me out. Both the girls are finding themselves with more responsibilities, and so far they're rising to the challenge. Even DH is getting his share, like dropping his own shirts off at the dry-cleaners and not expecting me to do it. It's all small stuff, but much more managable when everyone pitches in.
I write things down because
I write things down because otherwise I'll forget them. A schedule change always brings new things to remember and it's frustrating when I always seem to be behind. Sitting down with a calender and filling it in with all the things that need to be done makes me feel like I've taken control.
Hi Maureen! I tend to be
Hi Maureen! I tend to be good about keeping my work calendar up to date; now I just need to carry that over to my home life. I'm picking up two of these planners...one for me, too!
I am very disorganized
I want to pass on some advice a Doctor gave a caregiver's group. All of the group members were feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work that went into caregiving. His number one piece of advice was to take care of ourselves first as caregivers often ended up in worse shape than those they were caring for. Next piece of advice was one he and his wife learned when faced with the same situation and that is don't sweat the small stuff. This a Doctor speaking and he said we had to decide to leave things dusty and the floor sticky and get to bed so we could face the next day. If there was something smelly you worried about that but otherwise rest was your biggest priority. It is surprising how much better things look when you have a good rest. Tackle making a list of have to and then maybes when you are fresh. If you are tired when you try to make that list it is sometimes overwhelming.
Kaelee
You made me think of something -- I don't remember where I heard this, but someone said to make two lists for each day/week, whatever, the things you WANT to do (the stuff that would make you happy, feel satisfied) and the stuff you HAVE to do, the necessities that absolutely can't be ignored.
Then, make a third list adding some of the WANT TOs to some of the HAVE TOs, and go from there. I know on a day where I am doing lots of HAVE TOs, even doing one WANT TO can make a big difference, even though I don't use actual lists very often. For me, the WANT TO is often a reward at the end of the HAVE TO.
Sam
Sam
On eHarlequin Sadhbh makes very detailed lists of her chores for the day and she always lists rewards every so often. I think we forget to have that cup of tea or that walk in the park that rejuvenates us for the rest of the day.
Kaelee, this reminds me of a
Kaelee, this reminds me of a joke I heard...Don't sweat the petty stuff, and don't pet the sweaty stuff!
Seriously though, you're absolutely right. I need to let the small stuff go and concentrate on what's really important. And I know for myself, if I think I'm going to sit down at 9 p.m. and get stuff done (writing, list-making, research, etc.) I'm only kidding myself. Usually I'm so tired that I just feel uninspired and overwhelmed, so your advice is excellent. Thank you!
From my DH on business management
One of his profs came into the class room with a big jar and lots of little jars full of different things. It was a lesson on priortization. Just by looking at the big jar you could not conceive of how the contents of all the little jars would fit in it but they did. Take the golf balls and put them in first, then comes the marbles, then the grains of rice, then the sand and finally the water. If you start in reverse order you can't do it. So you have to decide what are your golf balls and then on down. Yes some marbles may grow into golf balls but if you have taken care of the other golf balls there is room for the growing marbles.
It doesn't hurt to discuss the topic with the whole family too. It may surprise you what ideas your kids can come with if they are asked to help. OOps missed the post where you said your girls were helping out.
Since I started a job app. 2
Since I started a job app. 2 months ago I have had to 'get organized' again in a different way. I have my work schedule marked down in every room possible where there is a calendar so I know when I work. I have a day planner in my satchel that has my schedule so I can check when not at home. It helps that I work only nights, 7 pm to 7 am.
As for the house, I do the laundry and keep up so my scrubs are clean but other things are done when I have days off. I concentrate on my sleep because I can't afford to get sick and 12 hrs. awake at work is quite overwhelming if you lack sleep. I am a great 'list' maker and love crossing items off so I feel as I've accomplished something.
List making
Buddy, Try breaking your jobs into smaller components like wash dishes, dry dishes , put dishes away, It gives you a greater sense of accomplishment when you cross three things off and if only the first two get done you still feel like you have done something. I cannot imagine working a 12 hour shift. You are awesome.
Keeping Track
I use a calendar hanging in the bathroom across from the toilet where it can't be missed. I also write notes on the bathroom mirror with an overhead marker that wipes off with water so I can't brush my hair without seeing it. I know I'm a little weird but for the most part it keeps me on track of where I need to be and what I need to do. I also have a weekly planner which helps when I am away from home.
Ellen, I love your practice
Ellen, I love your practice of writing directly on the bathroom mirror! I may have to adopt this...it would work well for the kids, too (especially since they're at that age where they're glued to the mirror, LOL). Thanks!
mirror writing
Just be sure you use and overhead projector pen that washes off unless you want the message to stay forever and ever. LOL
Got it. Thanks again!
Got it. Thanks again!
Agenda
I like to plan out my week to make sure I get all my errands done. I also figure out what my meal will be so I know what to pick up at the market. I like to lay out my outfit the night before so I won't have to waste time figuring out what to wear in the morning.
Jane, I'm so impressed! I
Jane, I'm so impressed! I know I should get ready for my day the night before...I've actually done this a few times and it's made a huge difference. I just need to make it part of my routine.
Buy a whole bunch of
Buy a whole bunch of post-its and write notes to yourself. Have your kids post their schedules for you if they are old enough to do so.
Yes...I think I do need to
Yes...I think I do need to invest in some sticky notes and post them right on the fridge where I'll see them. Great idea, Estella. Thanks!
Oh boy...
I probably don't have any good advice, Karen! I'm generally not a terribly organized person, and manage to stay barely afloat by not overcommitting--if I say yes to too many things, then I'm pretty sure to forget something! Writing stuff down is good, and getting the kids involved in helping is good too--it might not be great at first (I know my kids would be resistant), but letting them be responsible for their own stuff and reminding you about their own schedules would offload some of the burden on you and your DH. And then just do your best :) If something falls by the wayside right now, oh well! Keep your eyes on the big picture! You'll all be fine in the longer term ;)
Good luck!
Thanks, Fedora! The girls
Thanks, Fedora! The girls seem to be on-board with keeping track of their own schedules and their own "stuff," so there's hope yet!
I know where your coming from girl.
The only why I can keep things going is I have to make list. I have to have a list when I go to the store and things I have to do. If I didn't keep a list I wouldn't get anything done because I would forget it. I wish I could be more help to you but I am not the most organized person in the world but sometimes you have to let some things go until you can get to it.
I use a planner like the one
I use a planner like the one you have pictured to organize my days. I keep lots of lists, and I give lists to my family members. I also leave sticky notes for myself and others. A lot of times I put the reminder notes in my car if there is something I have to remember to do after work.
Cheryl, I'm a list-maker,
Cheryl, I'm a list-maker, too. There's something satisfying about getting everything down on paper and then reassessing what needs to be done.
I use Microsoft Outlook for
I use Microsoft Outlook for my email and use the task feature for all my reminders. I sign on at least once a day so it's a pretty safe way to remember. I set myself a reminder for birthdays, two weeks a ahead of the date, so I have time to buy a present. I also use it to remember shows on TV I want to watch, pick up cleaning, tell my husband something when he comes home (lol), pay bills, etc. The best part is if your busy, you can hit snooze for an hour or a day and it will remind you again.
Kim, what a great idea. I
Kim, what a great idea. I use Outlook for my meeting reminders, but that's about it. Talk about an underutilized resource! Thank you for reminding me that I have that tool available. I especially like how you use it to keep track of television shows and to do certain errands.
What organization?
I'm never organized. I'm perpetually forgetful and a bad procrastinator. My family tells me I have no common sense.
ArkieRN, I think we have the
ArkieRN, I think we have the same family, LOL!
Thanks Karen.....address is
Thanks Karen.....address is on the way
Congrats!!
Lucky you, Ellen!!