"Crushing" News
I’m sitting here trying to think of what to write for a blog, and coming up with nothing. Between current book, revisions, and magazine editing (my freelance work), I’ve been writing pages and pages for four days running now, and my brain is toast. I hit a point yesterday where all the words stopped. Last night I could only make caveman-like noises at Mike and stare at the TV. Television is usually the salve for a brain toasted by writing, and as we all know, good blog topics always come from watching TV.
Last night, I heard from a woman I was friends with as a teen and whom I'd lost contact with -- she found my website and emailed me, and as we emailed back and forth, she told me she was she'd been looking back at pictures of us at her house as kids, and listening to The Bay City Rollers, and recalling how we all had huge crushes on them (though Donny, and then Sean Cassidy were really my true loves of that period).
This morning, the Today Show did a bit on what they were calling “Mommy Crushes.” What you and I know as lusting after men whom we’re not living with, who aren’t the fathers of our children, etc. Crushes never really go away, do they? Maybe there's a reason for that. Crushes give us that little zing and maybe prompt us to dress a little sexier, remember we are more than practical, working women.
According to the ladies in the interview, “mommy crushes” are harmless, healthy ways to rev your engines after days on end of changing diapers or making dinner, cleaning house, etc. Remembering you are a sexual being and all that. They proposed that most crushes (I have to drop the “mommy” adjective, I just have to…), are on men in “helper” roles – waiters, delivery guys, the guy who helps you at the Home Depot, that kind of thing.
However, the Today Show Poll said their results show these are the top five crush categories:
1) Hollywood Heartthrobs
2) Co-Worker
3) Handyman
4) Partner’s Friend or one of their family members
5) Doctor or Dentist
Now, personally I think crushing on the dentist is a little weird, but the other ones hit me as pretty much all common romance hero material – so maybe it’s true that this is where our fantasies reside. The women in 
the interview seemed slightly worried that some crushes could be on real life, attainable men, like your husband’s friend or a guy you work with. But hopefully people know a crush is a crush, and not something to be taken seriously or acted upon. Then again, maybe not. Titilatting, isn’t it? Blazes premises come to life.
So, how about you? What are your crushes? Did you ever contemplate making it more than a crush, or was it just for fun? Who'd you crush on as a young person, and how are your crushes different now? Come on, share – you’re just telling me, and everyone else reading.
Crushes are wonderful things!
I think I've had crushes since I realized boys were boys, LOL! I still have a soft spot in my heart for one of my first crushes...a boy I became great friends with but whom I have recently lost touch. When I was younger, I definitely wanted every crush to be something 'more', but now it is definitely just for fun.
I don't have a crush on my dentist....but now that I think about it, her hygienist is pretty cute with his crooked smile. NOT that that makes me look forward to the dentist. That's still one of my least favorite places. :-)
Fun, fun!
Okay, I personally think crushes are fun, as long as they're just crushes...they make me feel young again, are completely harmless, and give me something to look forward to. I've had a crush on Gerard Butler for years, and even toyed with the idea of attending a fan convention for him (although I'm calling it research for a future book!). Not sure I'll actually go, but fun to think about.
About six years ago, I had a crush on this military guy at work...an Army Ranger with biceps the size of cantaloupes and the kind of quiet confidence that heroes are made of. He'd walk through the office and you could almost hear the collective sighs of longing from the women as he passed by. Once, I was in the fitness room, walking on the treadmill, when he came in wearing some kind of shirt that was all torn out at the sleeves and open on the sides all the way to his waist. I lost my footing and fell off the treadmill. I'd get so tongue-tied when he was around, that eventually I just began avoiding him. I never once contemplated anything more than just admiring him from a distance. He eventually got transferred elsewhere and I regained my ability to speak.
LOL
Karen, uh, the treadmill, the tripping at RWA, the running of the stoplight -- we're going to have to keep an eye on you, aren't we? ;)
I think it's fun when a crush is shared, you you mention all the girls sighing when the guy walked through -- then I really do think it's harmless and fun.
Maybe the secret crushes are the dangerous ones? Just a thought. Especially on someone "real" -- I think everyone has celebrity crushes, but if someone is crushing on someone at work, say, and doesn't feel they can tell anyone, do you think that could be the signal of a dangerous crush?
Sam
did someone mentions Gerard? ....
military men do have that something extra, don't they. Trust me to get hitched so quickly after joining the army that I only ever got to 'window shop'!
When I was a teenager, my dentist looked like Bryan Ferry only less smarmy. Tall, gorgeous, black hair and blue eyes. Irish. Definite crush material.
LOL
Karen, that's one of the funniest things I've read/heard in a long time. Was this, perhaps, the inspiration for the workout room scene in FLYBOY??? I read it this weekend on the flight home from NYC and really enjoyed it. Well done, you!
Then and Now
Well my crushes when I was younger were for guys in my local vicinity and as a direct result of that practice I now limit them to pretty much unattainable men!
I can't believe I'm going to share this, but here it goes- several years ago I worked with this gorgeous hunk of a man- longish blonde wavy hair, dark eyes and such an air of assurance that you found yourself wiping drool off yourself after he went past. My girlfriends were well aware of my obsession and knowing me as they did egged me on continuously until I agreed to a bet- I had to have sex with him before the new year. We were young, what can I say? So at our end of season party I was drinking gin ( I find that gin works well for me when I want to do something really stupid) and came on to him. We ended up at his place and I won the bet but the sex was awful! The man had no clue how to treat a woman. Such a let down- and what really made the whole thing not worth it was, it wasn't any fun to see him any more . And that's what crushes are all about- desire and longing and anticipation and the unknown!
So now my crushes are looonnnng distance where I can enjoy them without any repercussions. Right now I have this thing for Mark Walberg- I think it's the unique combination of killer body and his air of vulnerability. And the fact that there's no way we're ever going to meet! LOL
What a great story!
I think that's right on -- the fun of a crush is all imagination -- the reality is never as good (except in Blaze, of course, LOL). Unless someone has a story where it paid off? ;)
Very funny about the gin... Was he a nice guy, at least?
The only time I ever did anything remotely close was asking a guy out in grad school that I had a crush on, but he looked at me like I had sprouted three heads -- poor guy, he really wanted to run -- I think it was because I wasn't the average grad student, with a 7 year old in tow, etc. Enough to make many men run the other direction...
Mark Walberg is very nice looking, have to agree there. :) The celebrities must feel weird sometimes, because they have entire worlds of women crushing on them, and magazines toting the as "sexiest guy" etc -- that's gotta make it difficult to live up to expectations, I imagine...
Thanks for sharing!
Sam
my crush
You know, Samantha, he was a nice guy! I ran into him at another party years later ( I was drinking wine thank goodness) and I told him the story behind that night and we had a great laugh. He was such a good sport- and could relate to my wanting to win the bet!
My crushes
I think having a crush on someone, whether or not we're married or involved with someone else, is a wonderful thing! It keeps us on our toes. No matter how much you're in love with someone else, that crush adds that extra little fillip.
The reason to dress a little nicer or wear perfume (if you're headed out to work).
I have a mutual crush with a guy at work. We flirt whenever he's in the office. He brings me chocolate on payday for my stress level. I help him with his paperwork. He calls me Sweetheart (a term I abhor from anyone else). We kiss each other's cheeks at least once a week.
I'm married and he's involved with someone else. We both know it's just a crush and that's all we want.
And, to top it off, he's totally got a crush name: Nick Paradis (Paradise). Isn't that just perfect??
ani
Nice post
Hi,
nice post... being a bit too realistic... I don't have a crush on anyone, and I doubt I will ever have one!
That name is a hoot!
ani, I think as long as it's above board, out in the open, and just for fun, there's no harm. And I mean, seriously... that name.
I once had an office next to another teacher who's name was Scott Love (Not a crush, just a colleague ;) I was very into my own guy. :), but the female students loved him, and I just always used to crack up, thinking he had a PhD and so they could call him Dr. Love. ;)
Poor guy. He'd probably curse me for this.
Sam
Definitely a crush only
His SO will call into the office and ask Is OUR boy there? And my DH refers to Nick as "your boyfriend". We've all gone out together.
It's just in fun. We'll ignore each other for days on end and we'll tear into each other as needed.
But it's fun having someone to share that spark with!
Crushing can be fun...
as long as it doesn't get too real, I think. For me, anyhow--so these days I do celebrity crushes, but wouldn't crush on my husband's friends or that sort of thing. I think the fun is in the freedom to imagine whatever I want without taking it to reality.
And I've never had a dentist I'd want to crush on... maybe I need a new dentist! :)
I think crushes are a good
I think crushes are a good thing, as long as you realize they are just a crush and nothing else.
Fedora and Estella,
There is that line of "real" or "too real" or where a crush becomes something else, but where is it, I guess?
I tend to live by the "out in the open" rule -- if you have to keep it a secret, it's probably crossed a line.
But I've heard all these things about "emotional affairs" and such on the morning shows and in magazines, a person you can be non-sexual with, but whom you are very close to, of the opposite sex, and it seems some people's opinions go differently. I think sometimes it's okay to have a close non-romantic relationship with someone whom you can talk to, share with, and sure, maybe even tell things you wouldn't tell your spouse -- why not? That kind of thing could be good for you and your main relationship, and I don't believe that men and women can't just be friends, and close friends. My husband and I both have close friends of the opposite sex, and it's fine.
However, I do think missteps can happen, someone could get the wrong idea, who knows, or find themselves in a weak moment, and you never know, so it's best to have things out in the open and clearly defined...
Good thing my only crushes are on TV, LOL. Too much work...
Sam
My crushes
I've had several real life crushes, but the one I won't ever forget is a boy named Jason. We were friends as kids and then we grew apart, due to different circles. It was one of those things where we still wanted to talk, but didn't feel we could because our friends didn't really click. Then he moved away. I still think of him often and wonder what he's up to.
My on screen crushes come and go too, but I've always had Bon Jovi love and lately some major Jake Gyllenhaal love. I just HEART him;) I bet it had something to do with the cowbody hat:0
Scientific Poll or Lots of Lonely Ladies?
I have to laugh at the Today Show poll results:
1) Hollywood Heartthrobs
2) Co-Worker
3) Handyman
4) Partner’s Friend or one of their family members
5) Doctor or Dentist
Um...are there really that many other categories of men that the "mommies" in the survey see on a regular basis? I mean, this list makes it look like the criteria for being a crush is pretty much "being visible."
I prefer my crushes to be of the fictional kind. Dean Winchester, baby! I see him every Thursday at 9.
Hey Ellen!
So nice to see you here -- how hard would we have to twist your arm to blog here sometime? ;)
Until then, we hope you'll hang out with us, because you are such a riot (Ellen writes Supers, everyone -- check out her first book, WANTED MAN).
Good point about running into that many men, but also that many "worthy" men... I'm pretty picky! ;)
I think those Texas Hold'em heroes were pretty crush worthy. The last book hero I really had a crush on was Lori Wilde's chef in Some Like it Hot. On TV, there are so many but one of my long time standards is Don Epps, (Rob Morrow) on Numb3rs. Confession: next summer, my Blaze anthology, the hero is named "Joel" ( after Rob from Northern Exposure) and if my Super sells the first hero is named Don... This is how I work out my crushes, I guess, LOL. Though I also think we sometimes crush on the characters more so than the actors...
Sam
Crushes go two ways
Hail to the Redskins!
I remember renting 6 Days 7 Nights to drool over Harrison Ford (my crush) and dh drooling over Anne Heche. He asked "who's the girl?" in a lustful tone of voice and I had the perverted pleasure of saying "Ellens girlfriend" (at the time she was) and gloating over the crestfallen look on his face. He kept saying "no way! What a bummer to be marooned on a deserted island with a pretty lesbian!" We both enjoyed the movie, I guess he just "forgot" that Anne was Ellens girlfriend. As it turned out, Anne went straight. I still get a laugh today remembering the look on his face when I told him who Anne Heche was.
Don't have any strong crushes right now, but I do enjoy them, fictional and otherwise. Dh and I know we have crushes, and just let them go. When they do get in the way, we just say "get over it" and do drop back. We'll always be faithful to each other and never cross the line.
Of course, he does pout over my romance heros, and will make comments like "they ruin it for the rest of us normal guys". He usually says that about JDRobbs Roarke--Nora says to tell him "Roarke's fictional, not real". Doesn't work. *sigh*. The male ego. My crushes don't have fragile egos! lol
Hi!
Ooh, I can't wait to see Numb3rs tonight! My favorite is the little brother of Don Epps. I've got this thing for geeks... But on the other hand, there is Bones and David Boreanaz. *Sigh*
Hi Sam
Hi Sam,
I'm just learning about blogging. If you don't mind a beginner, I'd be more than happy to stop by sometime. I have a book out in May so if we could coordinate somehow with that, it would be double fun but certainly not necessary. Thanks for thinking of me!
I think the Texas Hold 'Em heroes had me with the name of their series. Poker. Men. Texas. I'm easy, I guess.
The hero of my next book bears a striking resemblance to Dean Winchester. What can I say? I have to think about *something* while I'm writing.
;-)
Cheers,
Ellen
Ellen
Send me a note, and I'll put you in my folder for the schedule. :)
Fantasy and crushes helps me with my writing, too... Dh had the nerve to say something along the lines that he thought they might be making Don Epps gay last night, and I nearly had a heart attack. It was the second worse offhand comment he's made aside of that they would be tearing down Fenway to build a new park someday (no way).
Sam
"For the times they are a-changin'..."
LOL! When I was young I had crushes on David Cassidy and Donnie Osmond. Now I have crushes on Wes Studi and Michael C. Hall (DEXTER).
MelissaK
I remember having crushes on
I remember having crushes on male teachers throughout grade school to highschool, and in college. It was more about personality and they way they made me feel. Like if I did well on a test or improved my work. The fact that someone believes in me 'does it' for me.
My children's pediatrician, a long time ago when we lived in a different town, he was just such a nice person.
For me it's not the looks it's the way they make me feel. Oh and the respiratory therapist at work.
Oh. I had those...
Definitely had the teacher crushes...especially when I went back to college in my late 20s, and I think that's because I was wowed by men who were so academic and still manly -- it was a new kind of sexy, a new kind of guy that I hadn't known growing up. It was like a shot in the arm to find men who thought, held conversations, and read, and wow, was that sexy -- I even ended up marrying one! ;)
Sam
aaa
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