Double Blogging...
I'm abusing the privilege here and blogging twice today, because I just got off a loop where folks are, again, talking about their RWA clothes. In the past month, every person I know has emailed or talked on a loop about what they are wearing, worried about what they are wearing, their clothes, their hair, their weight, and I'm just sitting in fearful fascination, partly glad I am not able to attend. I simply am not a clothes person -- I like the basics, and this much attention to clothes just freaks me out.
I suppose it's because I work from home, and haven't had to dress up for work in over a decade -- I always taught my classes in jeans and shorts, etc. To me, the privilege of academia was not having to dress up in corporate clothes, and I kind of think the same way about writing. I spent too many years before I finished school dressing up for the receptionist's jobs or wearing the retail uniforms, or watching my mom shuck every piece of clothing she had to wear for work from the moment she hit the door coming home to ever want to wear any kind of uniform again, or anything that smacks of dress codes.
I'm not a slob, but you know, I like to look nice, but I don't really do this clothes obsession thing. I don't know all the designer names. I have a pair of khakis and a black shirt I like to wear a lot for dress up (what I wore to Harlequin the last time I stopped up there) and if I were going, I think my attire would probably be the one black linen blazer I own and actually haven't worn in a few years, a pair of khakis, a pair of jeans, numerous pairs of shorts, tee shirts and tank tops. Sneakers, sandals, and the most casual pair of dress sandals I could find. I don't wear dresses, I don't really like them, and I wouldn't buy a new one for a single event. The last time I did that was when I got married 13 years ago. I don't like make-up, though I do try to keep my hair nice. That's something, right?
I know I am definitely the odd one out here, a throwback of sorts, but I wonder at all this stress on what we wear and not what we write or what we have to say. If I wore shorts to a pitch, would my book be any less interesting or saleable? I met Karen Foley a few months ago, and I can't remember what she had on, I could care less (though I'll admit to noticing the colorful bag she had, because I do like bags), but I wanted to meet her, not her clothes.
That said, I know this is fun for a lot of people, an excuse to shop and they actually like dressing up. I like it, too, though my idea of dressing up is new jeans and a funky top or new sandals (no heels). The blazer may be my one concession, I kind of like them, and if I had reason, would buy more of them, and wear them with shorts, LOL.
Personally, I kind of resent the whole "business casual" thing for writers and wonder, if I pay my attendance fee and go to a workshop at a conference, are they going to kick me out because I'm wearing jeans? Wouldn't I be better off feeling confident and comfortable in my own clothes than awkward and weird in dress-up clothes? Might be an interesting experiment...if I ever get to a conference one of these days... ;)
What's your opinion on all of this, really? People who are going, aren't going, or just want to share? Are the clothes really so important? If so, why?
Sam
clothes
Hi, Sam! Great post. I've been to quite a few national conferences over the years and I've seen everything along the way. Quite a few people wear jeans during the workshops. They're usually a dressed up version with sweaters or blazers (the rooms are cool). Most are in khakis or capris, and suits or nicer slacks etc are worn for editor and agent interviews. I've also seen jeans at the gala, though dressier gowns are the norm. I don't believe anyone would ever say a thing about what you wear. It's simply a matter of comfort, availability etc. I've discovered a lot of the authors are teachers, attorneys etc, so their wardrobe tends to be clothes other than jeans. And since the conference falls in the midst of summer, now's a good time to shop because everything is 50-70 percent off. I think it gets us shoppers worked up. LOL
I believe for most women it's just a shopping thing. I definitely qualify as a shop-a-holic because it's something I enjoy, whether or not I actually purchase anything. I wear more flip flops (heels are a killer with all the walking required) and capris than anything, all of which are casual and comfortable.
Long story longer, :) if/when you come to conference, wear what you're comfortable wearing. No one will say a word.
Kay
Kay Stockham - Double Finalist, Gayle Wilson AOE
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You are awesome, Kay
Flip-flops sound perfect to me!
It makes sense that if you are already a doctor/lawyer, you would wear the stuff you have and are comfortable wearing, and it's good to know that the dress code isn't that strict, because next year it's on the east coast, and God willing, I do intend to be there! And DC is HOT in summer, so bring on the shorts and tank tops, baby! LOL
Sam
I've been to five RWA
I've been to five RWA conferences, but last year's was special because it was the first time I'd attended as a published author, and I was excited/terrified about having lunch with my editor. So I confess to having done a huge shopping spree before I left. I overpacked, brought five dresses, six pairs of shoes, three pairs of sandals, six jackets, etc. etc. I dressed up for everything, but found I was really uncomfortable since everyone else was casual. So this year, I'm not doing any of that. I'm not even shopping for a new dress for the Harlequin party, just relying on the little black number I already own. No other dresses will go into my suitcase. I don't do shorts, but will bring several pairs of capris and flip-flops. This year will be about comfort! And staying within the airline-mandated weight restrictions for baggage, LOL!
Ah yes...
The airline restrictions... that probably makes a lot of difference to a lot of people. :)
I'm really glad to hear all of this, and to learn from everyone else before I go myself, someday! :)
Sam
Closet clothes horse
The truth is that people judge on sight. And then they alter that judgement with the other data they collect as they get to know you, talk to you, etc. So I decide what message I want to send and dress accordingly. There's a lot of research out there on the subliminal messages sent by dress and color. Want to take over the world while everything thinks you're a peaceful planet? Wear navy blue and yellow. Red--confidence, orange--I have the guts to do this (or I'm an Autumn), blue--calm, cool, collected.
I dress to express, but I am true to myself. I only wear what I like. And get this--I am a closet clothes horse because I would say that the majority of my friends hate shopping and the whole clothes thing. I'm embarrassed because I am a clothes horse. I should add that I was never able to endulge this passion until recently, so I've been going a little crazy and loving it.
Addendum
Like Kay says--a person should wear whatever they want. If you wore shorts to Nationals, I believe you would inspire great envy and perhaps a fashion craze, lol.
First impressions...
like Jeannie said, people tend to make snap judgments based on what they see first, but I'm personally all about comfort. I'm thankful that right now, I don't often have to dress to please others much--I guess when I do, I try to do that while choosing the most comfortable options I have... Good luck packing! (I'm not much of a shopper either, so when faced with clothing situations, I tend to call my sister for help!)
:)
My sister's my go-to girl, too!
Ditto, Sam!
I'm hoping to attend my first RWA conference in the next couple of years and, after reading all the blogs about packing and getting ready and whatnot, I'm kinda freaked. I like to get dressed up and go shopping, don't get me wrong. But I've been out of the fashion loop for so long since having my kids, I seriously wouldn't even know where to begin. Heels, dresses, and pantyhose have long since been replaced with flip-flops, yoga pants, and bare feet. Un-pedied. :( The prospect of having to get all dolled up for people I'm already going to be nervous around is uber intimidating and something I'm definitely not looking forward to.
Hugs Sas
Yes. I think this is it in a nutshell, and I think what we're hearing from the posts above is that you really can go and enjoy yourself, and if dressing up is your thing, then do, but if it's not, don't worry about it. Thank God. But the amount of talk about it is somewhat freaky, that's what I mean -- this is obviously a big deal and people do worry about it. But honestly, I think a nice pair of jeans, a pretty tank top and some Birkies would be fashionable enough -- I like the crunchy look. And for sight-seeing, you can bet your patootie I would be in shorts if the weather is over 80!
I've never had a pedicure or a manicure (of course, I bite my nails so I rarely have them long enough to go), so I am a knave in that respect, too, LOL
The idea of pantyhouse makes me cringe in disgust, LOL.
Sam
Sassa--You don't need
Sassa--You don't need dresses, pantyhose and heels. Wear slacks, a comfortable top and flat shoes. For Rita night, some people wear ball gowns and others wear slacks and a pretty top. Be comfy!
Clothes in general
When I have to look professional, I can do so just by putting on a better pair of pants and hauling out one of the two button down shirts I own. Yep, everything else is either a T or a sweater.
I do wear skirts on occasion because I don't do shorts and skirts are cooler than pants. No hose in the summer. Who cares if my legs are skim milk white. I don't.
Anyway, to bring this back to subject, I've been lucky enough to meet a couple of authors and I couldn't tell you what they were wearing. I know they weren't nude (I think I'd remember that) but, other than that, no clue.
With the exception of one popular paranormal author. She was dressed in goth black. She looks like a milkmaid. So it was incongruous and that's what has stayed with me.
Trust me, as a reader, we're so in awe of you that as long as you're not nude, we'll be impressed!
ani
Agreed, no nudity
Yeah, that would scar. LOL
I dress all in black now and then -- I have black yoga pants I like with a black tee shirt. Black socks. Sometimes, black unders, too. Mike calls it my artiste clothes, LOL. Basically, it's just comfortable.
Sam
Given the great blog
Given the great blog controversy last year about what three authors wore at RWA Nat'l, it's hard not to feel intimidated.
But for myself, I opted to go with clothes I would wear the rest of the year. I don't have wardrobe dollars to waste just so nobody will yell at me on the internet. *g* So if you hear cackling about the author with plaid shoes, plaid shirt and a plaid bag, that's me.
There was a blog controversy?
See, I didn't even know about that.
Your plaid sounds great to me!
Sam
Blog controversy about what
Blog controversy about what someone wore? Astounding.
I do use my nice clothes over and over again, since I teach, so I have yet to buy anything special for Nationals except for the party dress--which I always buy on sale.
I could wear jeans to work everyday if I so chose, but found the if I dress up, the kids behave better. Weird, but true. So for the first few months I try to look like a grownup. Then I break out the Converse All Stars.
Oh, yes, Sam...
A few comments were made that turned into an uproar, as frequently happens on the internet (and sometimes in life!)
I'm with you...I don't get the whole clothes obsession thing. I don't wear dresses, don't like them, etc. but even I found myself admiring some slinky evening gowns today and wishing that one day I'd have the body to carry them off.
I guess I have an inner girl, too.
Cari
conference clothes
Well, I'm just planning to wear the same sort of clothes I wear normally. Not the gross 'slob around the house' stuff I wear at home, but the kind of outfits I'd wear to meet a pal for lunch or out for a casual meal with my husband. Which is generally something black and comfortable and not particularly 'dressed up'. I don't even possess a skirt, a dress or a pair of 'heels'...
So glad I'm not alone in this!
I bought three dresses, never wore them, and now they're too big because I lost some weight, LOL. I get in a mind that *maybe* I'll wear a dress, and buy it, and then...well, it just never really comes to be.
Heels? No freaking way. I was required to wear them at a receptionists job I had twenty years ago, and we used to call ourselves "Charlies Angels in training" because it was a radio station and we were always running around -- in heels -- but that was the last time. I hated them.
I like to look nice, I actually like to get up and get dressed in the morning, etc -- I never, ever walk downstairs in just my jams or robe and I don't own a pair of tattered sweatpants -- I don't wear sweatpants. LOL Even though I work from home, I get up and get showered and dressed, etc and I wear casual clothes, obviously, but I have never once worn pajamas all day unless I was sick. I know people say they like that option as writers working from home, but for me it's a mindset thing -- dh and I both work from home, and we treat our day more or less like a real work day, and even on weekends, we get up, get dressed, have a routine...
But as long as I could get away with khakis or jeans at conference, I'd be good. But for sightseeing, etc I would wear shorts or whatever felt comfy, especially in something like DC urban heat, which can be suffocating.
Sam
What to wear
Hail to the Redskins!
As a Visiting Nurse, appearances are important, especially when you're visiting a patient for the first time. I've read about family members/patients complaining the nurse looked like she just got out of bed and drove to their house: her clothes were wrinkled, stained, etc. Now, while we don't wear traditional whites anymore (thank God), we do need to make the effort to look professional, ironed slacks and neat looking tops. I wear nice t-shirts in the summer, turtlenecks in the winter and khaki or blue slacks. I make the effort to iron them or get them straight out of the dryer. The office personnel wear business casual. When I do case management in the office, I wear the same thing. We're not allowed to wear capris, shorts, or open toed shoes. Believe me, in some of the homes I go into, you don't want to wear open toed shoes!
I wear capris or slacks with a nice top or sweater to booksignings. I figure if the author is taking time to come out and meet her fans, I'm going to make the effort to look nice. I may read your book in bed or in my jammies, but I'm going to look nice when buying it. Nora says its an effort for her to get dressed and put on make up, I'll make the effort for her. At TTP, I've seen authors in business suits, Lisa Scottoline looked like she was headed to court the first time I met her! She did look much more comfortable when I met her last spring. I've seen authors in jeans--Donna Kauffman has worn jeans at TTP. Once an author pulled her jacket closer saying the only clean blouse she had in her closet had a big stain on it. I bought a book and told her to get herself a new blouse if she had time. She laughed and said she was in the middle of edits and didn't have time to do her laundry. But, hey, a soft touch like me, got her a sale!
I wear slacks and nice tops to nursing conferences and the instructors are very professionally dressed in power suits. Its what they wear to work to see patients, and so its what they wear to conferences. I guess we still want to see our doctors/nurses dressed nicely. To be told you/your loved one has cancer, or another illness in jeans isn't kosher yet. Also, it just looks more professional.
Besides, scrubs are more comfortable to wear.
Never been to awards, but watching them on TV, something about the glamour and seeing everyone dressed up just gives something special to the night. JMO.
After reading over this post, it seems the only place I wear a dress anymore is to church or to a nice dinner out.
Comfort
I'm not going to conference this year, but plan on attending next year (I'm 3 hours from DC). I've been to 2 RWA national conferences in the past (the wayyy past) and admit to obsessing over what to wear. It's an unfortunate feminine trait. I think the tendency to judge each other based on what we're wearing is ridiculous. You don't see men standing around at a writers' conference gossiping, "Did you see that he's wearing jeans? I would never!"
I don't know if it's because I'm older or more self-confident or have simply seen the range of clothing choices at conferences, but I won't stress over it next summer. I don't wear jeans in the summer, but I'll bring capris and skirts, maybe a couple of casual dresses. I do not do heels anymore (and my feet love me for it), but I'll spring for good walking shoes/sandals (which have become a necessity from spending too long in those horrible heels back in the day).
I think it's entirely possible to be both stylish and comfortable.
I think you're completely right
I'll make that my goal. I wouldn't want to be the conference hobo, LOL, but I would like to be me, and comfy, when and if I manage to go... Though honestly, I don't think I have that feminine trait - I honestly don't obsess over clothes, and rarely remember what people wear. It's frustrating for my friends who love to shop and tell me what they bought, and I'm clueless. ;)
Sam
Late on this one -
LOL - I'm going to National. I'm bringing 3 pairs of black pants, one black blazer, 3 different t-shirts for underneath, and one pair of black loafers. My goal is to look professional, so I'm wearing what I'd wear to the office back when I worked in an office (and they're the same clothes, LOL, over SIX YEARS OLD). For the one reception I'm attending I'm pairing a cream silk blazer with, you guessed it, black pants. I traveled for work for far too long to overpack, and frankly, I think you can't go wrong with black pants/black blazer! I'll wear my casual stuff - tennis shoes, jeans, khaki blazer - on the plane and for sightseeing.
But, these clothes make me feel confident, comfortable (no tight waistbands) and professional, which is what I want. If someone else needs to change 3x/day like a Southern heroine, that's her perogative!
LOL
We'd be like Women in Black -- that's me, too -- the one blazer I own is black. LOL I love color, but all of my casual clothes are where my colorful clothes are. Dress clothes are black, because I don't have many, and it covers everything, as you say.
Sam